MAY'S 4 MOST DELICIOUS PROBLEMS

Yesterday seemed like a nice moment to ritualistically send all the empty bottles towards the glass bin. As I moved forward, sighing, groaning, and jingling, I realized I was dealing with a case of a luxury problem. Those were some damn beautiful bottles of Blanc de Blancs from Ruinart and Châteauneuf-du-Pape from a vintage year that I was sending off. I shouldn't complain so much. Just like those other times in my life when I was presented with an embarrassing downside of luxury. Here’s a top 4.

1. A bruise from the chain of my Chanel mattelassé.

During the last NYFW, I spent a few days with Maartje Verhoef. To look a bit fabulous, I carried my mattelassé with extra cameras and a lot of batteries and charging cables inside. By the end of day 1, I had a bruised collarbone. Taken down by Chanel. What a delightful problem.

 2. A sore spot on my elbow

It's the summer of 1990. I had passed my final exams (with honors, mind you, that happens when you switch from VWO to havo with a fun package) and had a long summer ahead. My parents were abroad, so the house (and garden with pool, sorry, those were the days) belonged to my brother and me. We swam, surfed, and watched a lot of TV. So much that after a week or so, I had a sore elbow from my stable side position.

 3. A rough cheek from kissing

This is the polished version. Remember those days when your cheeks, nose, lips were all rough and red from such a delightful evening of kissing? A friend of mine came out of the closet like this. His mother asked him how he got all those rashes on his face and that he should shave properly when kissing a girl. “You should tell that to my boyfriend,” was his response, and thus his gayness became a fact.

4. Neck pain from swimming

This summer it happened again. That pain, that pain, where did it come from? It was because this vain person wanted to keep her hair dry while swimming in the sea, which resulted in neck pain. I understand if you find me terrible.

You see, luxury also has its downsides. You should think about that when you cycle through the rain again.