pre cheating guide
At a certain age you see marriages crumble into pieces. Often it's due to juggling work life with a family and the time you do have off, you plan dates with friends and before you know it, your making out on a random street corner. With someone other than your partner.
And oh oh oh, how it might seem like such a thrill and exciting, half a year I'll spot them serial dating, their car exchanged for public transport and living in some tiny one bedroom apartment above some sketchy fast food joint. And I haven't even brought up the kids yet who suddenly walk around massive bags under their eyes because all they've been doing is bawling because their parents are no longer together. Divorce. Avoiding it is better than healing it. So all your lovestruck fools, please pay close attention to these pre cheating guidelines.
1. Don't tell anyone
Seriously, not a soul. Odds are you want to tell a female friend, but women are horrible at keeping secrets. Everyone always tells at least one other person so before you know it, everyone will be in on your little secret. Plus, you'll be completely over your crush after reading through this list three times or so, so it would be a shame if someone is aware of your incriminating information.
2. try liking his wife
A great guy usually always has a great wife. She's so great, no one wants to cause her any misery. So out of self protection, ask her out for a cup of coffee. Want to bet you'll end up thinking of him as someone-elses-great-guy rather than your-great-new-guy?
3. plan a date with your own man
Let this idea sink in. You have the greatest guy around. There is a reason you chose to spend the rest of your life with him. You guys just lost each other a bit along the way, but you can get things back on track. Reintroduce romance back into your life. Meet him at a restaurant after work. Surprise him with your outfit. Date your own man. Go ahead and give it a go, you have no idea what you're missing out on.
4. turn on your music
Remember that mix tape he made for your first holiday together? Remember how head over heels in love you were back then?
5. look at your kids
If you're going to stick to your improper behaviour you'll be watching some other woman with your husband and kids within no time. Don't you want to be the one taking your family to the zoo? Plus, you'll be forcing new step brothers and sisters onto you kids. Isn't that the last thing you want?
6. think of it this way
In two years time The Other Man is going to ditch you like dirty laundry. In a years time he's going to be interfering with your kids. And in about six months you're suddenly going to have two new step children who are going to treat you like shit cause they think you're the devil. Long enough until they get rid of you.
Like a recently divorced friend of mine once said, “When a divorced man starts a new relationship, you're always going to be a couple of points behind.”
7. have some steamy sex
Drop off your kids at their grandparents or at a friends place and enjoy some one on one time with you man.
Still have a crush?
Go back to number 1. And keep going through this list until it's gone.
