TAKING RESIGNATION?

This is how you do it

I still remember the first time so well. I had just signed on for another year at NCRV when everything came crashing down on me. Making another year of philosophical programs (in which suddenly the word ‘God’ had to be mentioned in every episode, it felt like sponsored television) I suddenly didn't want at all. And I had a tempting offer from Koffietijd (I know, from one extreme to the other) to become a reporter there and I longed for action and energy and something different every day.

But it was of course rude. Because I had only signed a flamboyant signature under a one-year contract a month ago. With trembling knees, I walked into my supervisor Monique's office. I decided not to beat around the bush and blurted it out. “I’m leaving. I’ve received another offer.”

There was a silence and Monique looked at me for a long time. “Do you want to know what the first thing that comes to my mind is?” she asked. Well, I didn't know if I wanted to know that. I could imagine that those weren't just happy thoughts. She didn't wait for my answer and said it anyway. “I will miss you incredibly…”

“I will miss you incredibly…”

I didn't see that coming at all. Just as I sometimes didn't see it coming the other way around. That I thought I had neatly closed something and later found out that the director in question still held it against me years later that I had ‘abandoned’ her. Resigning. It remains ‘a thing’.

Now I don't know what type characterizes your supervisor, but I have some tips that hopefully make it easier for you.

1. Tell your boss first

Even if your best friend works with you, don't involve her in your process. Really. She will tell someone else, you are gossiping together or someone accidentally reads a WhatsApp that pops up and your boss finds out that apparently other people within the team knew about this. And that will not give him/her a pleasant feeling, putting you in a more difficult situation anyway.

2. Be honest

Of course, not every boss can take it well, but if you honestly say that you want something different, your boss can also make you a suitable offer. Often dissatisfied people start applying and then confront the boss with a fait accompli. While that person might have had a great position for you.

Even if there isn't such a position for you, it might be that your boss helps you in your job search. When I left Marie Claire, we agreed that I would stay until a replacement was found. That took quite a while, so I worked part-time for another six months while I was tinkering with Amayzine. We were both happy with that.

3. Announce the weight of the conversation

Just stepping into someone's office and offering your resignation is not very polite. Send your supervisor an email saying that you would like to have a conversation in which you want to share something important. I often feel from the tone of an email where it is going and always find that nice because I can work out different scenarios in my head and think about solutions.

4. Also be prepared for the worst

I hope you work at a very nice company where they understand you and your wishes very well. But I have also experienced that someone announced their resignation and that person could immediately pack their things. Keep in mind that some bosses see resignation as betrayal. That says more about them than about you. Just think that it is extra nice to leave.

5. And then those colleagues

Not fun, but that's how it goes in group processes. If you leave a group, the group will feel a bit hurt. Apparently, you no longer like something that is still good enough for them. They may feel it as a rejection if you leave ‘the nest’. Don't worry too much about it, quite understandable from their point of view and moreover, you can immediately see whether they turned out to be dear colleagues or friends. If they are colleagues who become friends, it will all work out later.

I know, it's terrifying and incredibly exciting, but you won't be thrown in prison and they won't quarter you in the office garden, so it's not that bad after all. Go for it.