Why every man wants to be a sound engineer

On a recording day, there are always three men who ask what I'm going to wear.

You understand Fred, he does that for very understandable fashion motivations. The other two with an above-average interest in my outfit are Thomas and Lin, the sound guys on site.

After the question: ”What are you wearing today?” there is always a slightly awkward silence followed by a cautious “And uh, are you wearing a bra with that?”

Now, don't think that we have two perverts on set, quite the opposite. Thomas and Lin are incredibly loyal, polite guys who try to do their job as well as possible. And in performing their task, I, or rather my outfit, am a tremendous pain in the ass.

Sound guys need two things. A blouse and pants. A blouse where you can attach the microphone button and pants where the box can be clipped on.

But a bit of a fashion outfit has no catch spots and it seems like my outfits are becoming increasingly cumbersome and thus more inconvenient by the week.

Fortunately, I'm in good company because Anouk has also become ‘a situation’ for the men. Yesterday, I knelt under her skirt to pull the microphone wire down between her breasts. Then Anouk placed the box somewhere in her underwear. When we finally sat in our elimination chairs, the sound guy came over with a red blush on his cheeks. “Uh, Anouk... Is your box nearby?” Well, it's quite far and deep hidden, Anouk could tell him. Why? “The uh battery is dead.”

And so the feeling game started all over again.

Moral of this story. Men, if you want to legitimately touch beautiful women and the study of gynecology is just a bit too much for you? Become a sound guy. Really. It doesn't get more fun than this.