Why women don't open their mail

A long time ago I wrote this article about things you can get away with before your 30s, but not after. One of the things on the list is not opening your mail, and thus ignoring Potentially Important Matters.

Now, I don't know if this is a woman thing in general, but here in the editorial office, both Jet, May, and I are guilty of it. So that seems to me a reasonably representative sample for now. When I open the front door and see blue envelopes, letters from the bank, health insurance, or something else lying on the stairs, I walk right over them with a firm step. I can definitely keep that up for about five days, until my neighbors, with whom I share the stairwell and who live below me, move the pile of letters one step higher and thus onto “my” stairs. Point taken.

Then usually the moment comes when I pick them up and take them inside, to go through them later “when I have a good moment”. But, as I already wrote, I don't do that. The pile keeps getting bigger and bigger until it becomes an overwhelming disaster, and then there are two options.

“LUCKILY I AM ONLY FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU UNTIL YOU TURN 27 AND YOU'RE ALREADY THERE IN A MONTH.”

Part of the pile is no longer urgent, and another part of the pile has turned into Code Red with severe angry sanctions hanging over my head. Look, my theory has always been: if it's really serious, they'll call me. And as long as I don't get a call, nothing is wrong. A rock-solid theory, if I may say so myself, but not everyone thinks the same way.

Someone like that is my father. He had a total heart attack when he came to feed my cat Disco during my trip to Milan and had to make his way through piles and piles of unopened envelopes on the stairs. My father, a man with an almost compulsive order when it comes to Potentially Important Matters, sent furious texts about how I WILL END UP IN JAIL if I don't OPEN THE MAIL IMMEDIATELY and HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK THAT. “That's why you can buy ALL THOSE SHOES!” And, my favorite; “LUCKILY I AM ONLY FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU UNTIL YOU TURN 27 AND YOU'RE ALREADY THERE IN A MONTH.”

responsibility and obligations do not exist

Now, in that case, I was fortunately well prepared because indeed, there was a little issue with the bank, but they had already called me about it (so the theory holds) and everything was settled. Only yes, those stupid letters kept coming, but I can't do anything about that.

The reason I don't open letters is that I like to live in a sort of Disneyland where responsibility and obligations do not exist. I don't want to be confronted with sour matters like taxes and declarations. Leave me alone with all that hassle about gas suppliers and home insurance. I don't want to hear anything about Waternet and my energy bill, and I prefer not to know about that health insurance either. As soon as a large company starts sending you letters, I already know that I don't understand a thing about what's in them, and secondly, that if I do understand it, I don't want to.

So then the solution is: not opening them. I've turned avoiding into an art and potentially a criminal offense. Maybe the people, my father, and the Tax Authority could appreciate that a bit instead of always getting so angry at me.