Fashion

13 SENTENCES THAT GO THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO BUY SOMETHING CRAZY EXPENSIVE

As you could read here yesterday, I have been naughty. I wish I could phrase it differently, less pornographically, but I paid a ridiculous amount for something I didn't really need, so I was downright naughty.

You should know: before women start doing something naughty while waving their bank card, about ten sentences go through their heads. Ever hesitated and swiped your card through the machine with a little doubt? Then these are the sentences that go through your head in a split second.

1. “I can still turn back. I don't really need this. I can still put it back. Put it back. Ha-ha. HAHAHA.”

2. “I could also just sprint out of the store with the item like an Olympic athlete, hoping I won't get caught. Even if I probably stumble like a panicked deer at the threshold.”

3. “I just considered stealing something in this fancy store, and now I have to feel intensely ashamed and buy it as punishment.”

4. “I haven't bought anything really fun in a long time. I deserve this. And if I buy this, I definitely won't have to buy anything for THREE MONTHS.” (Spoiler: Jet has taken on that challenge since yesterday, by the way. Good luck, girlfriend...)

“So actually, theoretically speaking, this is free.”

5. “If I buy this, I'll just eat at friends” houses all week. That's fine."

6. “Do I see a damage there? Hmm, maybe I can get some discount off this.”

7. “You know, I'm getting quite a bit of money back from that friend. And my sister. And the Tax Office. So actually, theoretically speaking, this is free.”

8. “Why do I always have to do everything myself and no one buys this for me? Anyone? Mom?”

9. “Why does the saleswoman look so neutral? As if this doesn't cost me an arm and a leg. She could look a bit prouder at me. And applaud or something.”

10. “Just to annoy the saleswoman, I would now want to walk back and grab ten thousand euros worth of other stuff. That'll teach her.”

11. “I just take a deep breath and count to three before I quickly swipe my card through. One... Twooo...”

12. “After this, it's really all over. Then I’ll give my card to my mother.”

13. “Okay, that beep means I've paid, help.”