Happy & Healthy

5 things I will do differently at my second wedding

There are people who believe that you only get married once in your life. It either works or it doesn't, and then you definitely shouldn't do it again. I'm getting married for the second time now and I think it's absolutely wonderful. Not only because I'm very much in love with my bizarrely handsome fiancé, but also because I can handle everything much better this time than during my first marriage. So that you don't necessarily have to get married twice to know what you want, you can learn from my ‘mistakes’. Here comes my list of improvement points:

1. Marry in white, with a veil

When I got married the first time, I walked into a store in Rotterdam that sold beautiful silk (wedding) dresses. The owner immediately exclaimed: ‘You have to go for it!’ And she squeezed me into a bright red strapless dress. My ex, who was with me, also something I do differently now, thought it was amazing. And that's how I ended up getting married in bright red. In hindsight, I found that so unfortunate. Now I may have a few more occasions to wear a strapless red evening dress than the average Dutch person, but still. You can only wear a white dress with a hysterical white veil, tiara, bridal bouquet, and you name it once in your life (okay, or eight times if you're Elizabeth Taylor). For every other dress, you'll surely find another occasion. So seize that opportunity!

2. Have a second outfit

Also something I could never have thought of beforehand. After spending the whole day in the admittedly beautiful red wedding dress, I wanted nothing more than to just let loose with my girlfriends. In something comfortable, which means not long and definitely not strapless. I happened to have a weekend bag with me containing sweatpants and a T-shirt, so you can probably guess what I wore then. To avoid this fashion faux pas at my own wedding, I have now bought a super simple, but very pretty white dress to wear when I suddenly decide to dance wildly.

3. Keep it small

You quickly think: the more souls, the more joy. Not at a wedding, I can tell you. At my first wedding, besides my friends, I also invited all sorts of ‘fringe people’, such as colleagues, uncles and aunts I never see, neighbors you hardly speak to, and so on. I can tell you that I have never been in contact with all these people again. In fact, I can't even reproduce who exactly was there. What I do know is that I spent the whole evening greeting everyone and then spent hours saying goodbye. My real friends, the people with whom you really want to celebrate, all left me alone a bit because they saw I was so busy. That's why I'm now getting married abroad with only my very best friends. Afterwards, we'll have a gathering in the Netherlands for all the other people.

4. Be super clear

You marry for yourself and not for others. We all know that, but I still found it very difficult to be assertive at my first wedding. Whether someone could bring a person I actually didn't like (I said yes, now I say no). Or that the hairdresser told me my hair looked fantastic and I doubted it and later saw in the photos that it indeed wasn't top-notch. Those kinds of things. It's your day, you decide. Better to be a bit of a bitch.

5. Take time for each other

My previous wedding was a hysterically busy, overcrowded day. I was completely exhausted when the last guests finally left, and to be honest, I found it far from the best day of my life. I also hardly spoke to my ex-husband, aside from the ceremony, because we were so occupied the whole time. My fiancé and I have now planned the day totally differently. We're going to enjoy the morning together on the beach, and I've also decided to really experience the day together with him.

Whether all these tips have worked out well? You'll surely read about that in my follow-up posts...

Written by Marion Pauw