Sexy Friday

6X FIFTY SHADES IN YOUR OWN BEDROOM

Last week the internet went a bit crazy again because on Valentine's Day 2017 we can once again flock to the cinema for Fifty Shades Darker. I just watched the trailer and must admit: it looks more exciting than the first movie, as far as I can remember…

Whether the movie is prudish or not (part 1, come on), that millions of viewers will still show up. And maybe it's also good that the dark side of sadomasochism is not depicted in vivid colors, not everyone could handle that, I think. For this post, I dove into the depths of the BDSM world and trust me: there is a LOT that you don't want to see. On the other hand, when we talk about soft BDSM, Mister Grey is a good teacher to make it a bit more exciting in the bedroom a bit more exciting to make. And that's why a mini-guide ‘Fifty Shades at your place’.

Why not try something with…

…ticklers

The tickler is also known in the BDSM world as a ‘tickler’. It looks like a huge innocent, soft, sweet feather, but don't be fooled, this is usually seen as a warm-up for the rougher work. And this is where I start to find it scary. HELP.

…whips

Because of the tickling beforehand, the hits come much harder. The skin is already warmed up and therefore very sensitive, so keep that in mind. Non-BDSM'ers often think (yes L, I thought so too) that a whip is just used to hit hard. This has given the whip a somewhat intimidating reputation. But a dominant who wields the whip with pleasure will never lash out at a submissive. The hits are not that hard, and the whip strokes that do occur are adjusted to the limits of the submissive. Various BDSM sites advise just trying out what you find sexy. Discuss with each other, take it nice and slow, and agree on a safe word to indicate boundaries.

…cuffs

Cuffs are the most accessible BDSM toy that you can purchase if you want to experiment as a couple in the bedroom. Have you mastered the handcuff game and do you know how to secure and release someone? Then you can also experiment with thigh cuffs, hanging cuffs, ankle cuffs, or special bed cuffs. The next step might be bondage.

‘Fifty Shades at your place’.

…a BDSM candle

Yes, a regular candle can of course also be used, but a BDSM candle is specially designed to be used for a BDSM game. Do check in advance about the sensitivity of his or her skin. Someone who burns easily in the sun may also tolerate less candle wax.

…masks

You have two types of masks: the basic ones (which you could actually sleep in) and the masks used in a role play, such as animal masks (oh dear, sounds scary again). Let's assume the less scary version: when you wear a BDSM mask, your sight is completely taken away, making all your other senses sharper. And you experience touches much more intensely and are much more sensitive.

…spanking

Find a position that is comfortable for both of you. Usually, the first time is with the buttocks up. This way, the position ‘on all fours’ can be very suitable for delivering a first smack. Gradually build up with your hand and choose, for example, 5 smacks, and then 1 minute of rest. Use that rest to gently stroke him or her, especially if it's your first time. Pay close attention to how he or she reacts to your loving smacks and continue to respect each other's boundaries. Aftercare is perhaps the most important. Give your partner a wet, cold towel to relieve any pain, massage the buttocks with a nice body lotion, and give a kiss here and there. After all, something needs to be compensated…

Fine eh, weekend huh.