Fun & Famous

7 things you need to know if you jump on a taken man

Let's not pretend to be holier than the Pope. We've all made a mistake at some point when we were young and reckless. If you (or your friend) are still in your wild phase, it might be handy for me to share some wisdom that my friends and I have gathered through trial and error.

1. He Will Never Leave His Wife

Just so you know. Don't kid yourself. Of course, you are the candy of the week who puts her underwear in his hand during dinner and doesn't complain about his socks lying next to the laundry basket instead of in it (just like these things) and he can keep it up for years, but at home, he is surely cozy and content eating his favorite meal that his wife made for him with his children on the couch.

2. You are alone at Christmas

So you probably know that too, because at Christmas he is happily eating his wife's stuffed eggs. And he probably doesn't have time to call you either.

3. It's always exciting

You only see each other during the fun moments when you are fully (and painfully) waxed and he is completely groomed, popping open a bottle and lying on that tiger skin, dirty little perverts.

4. Don't expect understanding from friends

Even if they try to understand you (they only succeed when they experience it themselves), they still think it's stupid. Of him, of course, but also of you, because in their eyes, you are someone who apparently has no respect for other people's relationships.

5. You can't introduce him to your parents

But maybe that's actually a huge plus.

6. Realize that you are under a pseudonym in his phone

So when you call, someone like Willem de Bok appears on his screen. You have to ask yourself if you find that a very pleasant feeling.

7. He takes your best years

Because you will -again- go on vacation alone, when you are stuck with a flat tire along the A2, he certainly won't come to your rescue, and don't you deserve someone who is there for you with head and heart all day long?