Happy & Healthy
HOW DO YOU SURVIVE CHRISTMAS
IF YOU HAVE BOTH DIVORCED PARENTS?
“How are we going to do Christmas this year?” That question usually comes about eight weeks in advance. Sometimes ten. It almost has to. It’s actually just like a Rubik's puzzle. In the end, it fits, but it takes you ten hours to get that damn thing together. And along the way, you get grumpy, whether you like it or not. On top of that, you actually want to have a nice Christmas with everyone and don’t want to disappoint anyone.
Sander and I both have divorced parents and it sucks during Christmas. I mean: how nice and relaxed is it when there are just two families to consider? Two Christmas days + two families = EASY. When suddenly there are four families in the mix, it’s uh, a bit trickier. Especially when both families are kind of spread all over the country.
But I don’t just complain. I mean: look at it from this side: who has had a double Christmas for seven years in a row? Double presents? Double feasts and tables full of goodies that your (step)parents have worked hard for? So there’s that. And we’ll just take those little Christmas stresses in stride. A quadruple Christmas this year? Then these tips are for you.
Start discussing early
Often the first year is the hardest to get through. Because suddenly there are more people celebrating Christmas separately and still want to see the kids. No matter how stupid it feels, really start making arrangements early. Otherwise, in the heat of the moment, last-minute feelings get hurt and that’s not pleasant for anyone. It’s like everything in life. Starting early = less stress.
“A quadruple Christmas this year too?”
Make sure to express what you like
Yes, you want to keep everyone happy, especially around Christmas, but it helps if you accept that it won’t work out 100 percent. Ultimately, choose the situation where you feel most comfortable. If a total bitch fight arises with your partner over, for example, Christmas Day, agree to alternate every year. One year at one of your parents' and the next year at one of his parents'.
Be creative
First of all, make use of Christmas Eve. Actually, that can already be considered the first Christmas Day. Then you have Christmas Day during the day to do something fun with your own family or your partner's family, and in the evening, you eat with the other. Again: it’s about fitting and measuring, but it can be done!
Just plan a trip
I’ve done that too. Boom, book a hotel and tell everyone well in advance that you won’t be there for Christmas. Or just plan your long beach holiday around this time. Don’t do it every year, okay, that’s not fun. But once is definitely possible. Shhh.
