Fun & Famous

So I'm addicted to bidding on Marktplaats and this is what it looks like

And here we go again: the title of this piece has already revealed everything. I'm really going CRAZY from it! At this rate, I won't have a job left! Anyway, they won't get me down here.

It all started when I ran out of money but still wanted nice interior things. It went something like this: I wanted a nice interior accessory because I suddenly found my living room painfully boring. Preferably a brass (yellow copper) or golden figurine, that seemed really too chic to me, but what did my eye see when I opened my ING Banking app? A pitiful minus fifty euros. At first, I felt a nauseating wave of disappointment wash over me, but then I knew: I have to stay strong and come up with solutions. So I stayed calm and said to myself: come on, just stay calm now, what exactly is going on? You want something very cheap... something really incredibly cheap... but still something nice and original? That's not so hard, girl? You just need to check Marktplaats. Come on! Don't sit there sulking for too long, there are worse things in the world.

”Moreover, the duck immediately had the desired effect upon arrival.”

So said, so done. And after a few days of searching, I came across a lovely brass duck. For only six euros. That's not a typo, I now just say eu instead of euro because it's cool. Good. It was a truly stunning little duck that would make my living room incredibly chic in one go, that was for sure. I offered the asking price and booyaka booyaka, the seller agreed. UNREAL. Moreover, the duck immediately had the desired effect upon arrival. My house looked like a boutique hotel. What a splendor, what a magnificent state. In short: I wanted this kick again. I wanted to experience this kick again. And so I went looking for the ‘new brass duck’. Which of course shouldn't really be a duck, because I already had that, the figurine just had to have the same feeling, the same atmosphere, and if you can't understand that, then I think you're just not redeemable anymore. Good, back to the story. Eventually, I traced a brass flamingo. And I am really a huge fan of flamingos, you should know. I even once had a rather large flamingo tattooed, or well, almost, they had already made the sketch and I had an appointment to get it done, but I had a panic attack and didn't show up. However, I knew about the Marktplaats flamingo: this one definitely had to come into my possession. I offered the asking price, the seller agreed and sent the flamingo in a strange old cardboard box with a lot of old newspapers inside. But that didn't matter, of course. I tore open the package, placed the thing very happily next to the duck and then quickly went looking for ‘the new brass flamingo‘. Which I eventually found in a cool vase from the brand Scheurich. Which indeed is in no way a brass animal, but they are just terribly hip German vases from the sixties and seventies that you really must have.

”At one point, I thought of a hundred things every day that I might score cheaply and nicely via Marktplaats.”

Well. Looking back now, I think that something went a bit wrong afterwards. At one point, I thought of a hundred things every day that I might score cheaply and nicely via Marktplaats. More and more often, I found my interior or my wardrobe STUPID and I was bidding on things with red cheeks from excitement. But where I initially settled everything neatly and had it sent, I now notice that the bids are getting out of hand. In terms of money (thirty-six times a ‘little’ six euros is quite a bit of money), in terms of emails, but also in terms of space in the house. I live in an upper apartment in Amsterdam, but I also have two children and they really take up a lot of space with all their stuff, it's outrageous. And so lately, I've been doing something Very Bad. Then I lie in bed at night happily bidding, only to think the next morning: nahhh, maybe not. Or: nahhh, why did you think you could afford that, you have MIN 230 euros in your account. And instead of neatly emailing back, I just don't respond at all anymore.
To make it a bit clearer: someone sweetly writes that they agree with my bid and what does Renske do? She engages in ostrich politics and quietly sits in a corner waiting for the concerned gentleman or lady to stop emailing or if I still want that one golden vase from 1967? Or that brand new children's polo from Ralph Lauren?!

Good. You really don't need to be a professional to know that this has to stop. I have to quit. And so I hereby take a big step. In the context of the detox and healing process, I say SORRY to all the people who never heard from me again after I made a flashy bid. Sorry. Really, sorry. Furthermore, I'm going to make a list of things that I really need or at least really want, because there is a difference between wanting things and really really wanting things, everyone here knows that. And I will stick to that list. Yes. So it shall be done. So it will go. I'm sure of it.

Peace on earth.

Okay, I don't know what that was about, but I didn't know what to write anymore, CAN IT BE ONCE? I'm typing my fingers off here. Anyways, wish me luck with detoxing, I'll need it.