Fun & Famous
Kiki's Expedition Robinson ramblings
Week 7
Good morning my dear Ex Robbies. Welcome to the national whining episode. Do you agree with me that yesterday was the most depressing broadcast EVER? I mean: damn man, we are already in the autumnal grave cold and hope to find our television entertainment on a sunny uninhabited island, and it's even wetter there than here. Resulting in a lot of shivering, bleating, and complaining from half past 8 to half past 9 on RTL 5. And candidates, let me start by saying that I completely understand you, okay? The food supplies are also gone, it's miserable. The misery. And now I could make jokes about the advantage that Chloé could hardly talk this episode (done), but seriously, makers, give that woman something. This can't be right. She needs to go through the McDrive immediately. Or a greasy glass of Chocomel with whipped cream or something, anything.
What a contrast by the way with the episode from last week, in which the biggest Expedition Robinson plot ever was outlined that led to Kraantje Pappie ending up at home and his other half being voted out. This week we see the rebirth of JayJay, who suddenly seems to have a high squeaky voice on the elimination island, Thomas almost drowns, and the Bertie tear-off calendar suddenly seems like a brilliant plan. Where can we buy that?
And you know it, here we go again, the 13 points we need to ramble about this week:
1. I don't know about you, but I always get an incredible craving from this program. Just like with Holland's Next Top Model. Then I get this kind of sadistic not-me-but-you-nananana feeling… I need to seek help, right?
2. Well, my great friend VaJayJay, one moment you're roaring like a gorilla on an island with Haantje Pappie, the next moment you're searching for worms in the drizzle with Bartho Braat. There has to be a difference.
3. Which immediately brings me to the funniest Twitter joke of the week. “Maybe they can use Chloé as a ‘worm’ to fish on the elimination island.” HAAAAAAAAAA.
4. Thomas, heavy balls are not really your thing. Just don't. Dave, you on the other hand my boy, well done. I saw you go with that wrecking ball. I like you so much. And even when you talk about diarrhea while being emaciated, you're still hot. Okay, I didn't say that seriously.
5. I have to give it to you, Anna: your sock tactic on Insta is clever. Last week I mocked your goat wool knits, you posted a photo on Instagram last night with # socks. Yes, I see everything. To which dozens of followers respond: Ooooooh how moooooi, where can I coooope those socks? Really leeeeeuk!! Maybe strike a deal with Happy Socks? The invoice for the assist will be coming your way soon.
6. “Is it weird if I say it's good to see you?” says Jayjay. “Well, that's certainly not reciprocated,” sneers Lex. “Rat.” RAT. HAHA. I found a new insult.
7. Suzanne Klemann. What a rack that woman has by the way. Is she secretly being fed or something?
8. Oh and that big glasses. Seriously? Just leave those at home from now on.
9. The question that has been on everyone's mind for weeks and it's time to voice it: where the F*** do the eliminated contestants sleep the night before they go to elimination island?
10. Another backstage question from @MissMatch_NL on Twitter: Do they have visual explanation boards off-screen during the challenges? Those instructions are impossible to remember?! Good point. Makers, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
11. We all thought it: YES JALOU, THAT SUCKS, YOUR TWO EXTRA VOTES.
12. Highlight for Camp South this week: they win a challenge this time without bribing the opponent. Oh, and a shelter is being built too. Even a homeless person would probably decline it. #handigeharries. #whereisbertiewhenyouneedhim.
13. Oh yes, we were going to end with a prediction, right? Next week: Chloé's funeral after she has gone very, VERY deep, that f***ing bird at the beginning of the commercial break is finally cut from the show after criticism, and Dave gets to audition for the Wrecking Ball 2.0 music video of Miley Cyrus. See ya next week!
