Look of the day

Lianne Grootings

As you could read here, we are paying extra attention to breast cancer this month in collaboration with the Look Good Feel Better foundation. When May asked me if I knew any young women in my surroundings who had encountered breast cancer, I immediately knew I wanted to connect her with Lianne.

I have actually known this enormous beauty for years. Back then, I was studying at the Hoge Hotelschool in Maastricht. She had already graduated and moved to Shanghai with her boyfriend, which I found incredibly cool #couplegoals.

They had two beautiful sons together, moved to Singapore, and life was smiling at them. Until that moment...

My story about breast cancer

In June 2015, I was still breastfeeding my son Tygo, who was then 11 months old, in Singapore. I felt a lump that didn't go away after feedings. After a week, I decided to have it checked at my husband's urging. The general practitioner referred me, after he indicated that I was too young and healthy, but I felt that something was wrong. I was very tired and had unusually much hair loss, and my nipple was slightly inverted, which I only really noticed in hindsight. All of this could also be due to our challenging life in Singapore with two small children and a large social life.

On July 8, 2015, I received the diagnosis of breast cancer. The oncologist didn't mince words: right after this bad news came the whole circus of information; you need to undergo chemo, a full mastectomy, then a month of daily radiation, and in between, you start hormone therapy for the next 10 years. He had seen this many times before.

After further investigation, it turned out that I had even two malignant tumors and that my lymph nodes were also affected. I could never have felt all of this myself, which I found very frightening.

“I had to be strong, for everyone I love”

In the Netherlands, I had a second opinion done at the Academic Hospital in Maastricht, five days after my diagnosis in Singapore. Unfortunately, the same result came out; the treatment I had to follow was comparable. The news you get from the doctor boils down to: “You have a deadly disease, there is a chance you won't survive this, but we will do everything we can and hope it works.”

Telling this bad news to family and friends was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to be strong, for everyone I love. No one was allowed to lose hope, otherwise, I would lose it too.

I did my chemos in Singapore for four months. After each chemo, I wanted to travel, to Bali, Thailand, Borneo, and during the worst chemo, I just stayed on ‘staycation’ on the other side of Singapore. Traveling gave me the feeling that I still had some control over my life, and it made me feel incredibly strong.

I did every chemo in full regalia, with a beautiful headscarf, big earrings, bright lipstick, and nice clothes. The nurses called me a rockstar, not because of my appearance, but mainly because my blood values remained remarkably good. As if there was no cancer or chemo in me.

I had my mastectomy done in Maastricht at the AZM. The heart test 15 minutes before the operation showed that I was in pure rest and acceptance, remarkable. Fortunately, the wound has now healed well.

I also did the month of radiation in Maastricht, and for the first time, I saw many other patients; in Singapore, I was treated in a clinic. When my mother came along, people thought we were there for her; the average age in the waiting room was 65 years. Nothing could be further from the truth. This made me decide to create an Instagram account for young people with cancer. @Lovelife.Aftercancer.ByLianne shows how beautiful life can still be after cancer, even though the coming years are still so uncertain and you have been through too much. I also answer all the questions that come from fellow patients. I am glad that I can already help many people with it.

I have now been in (forced) menopause for a year. The hot flashes are annoying at 33, and from 300% energy, I have gone to 100% energy. I still do, if my surroundings are to be believed, more than many people. I also have ‘chemo brain’ (read: I am incredibly forgetful). Acceptance and gratitude that I am still here are a must to get through this process positively. I am still amazed every day at how I have remained so positive and how far I have come...

“People often think: the chemo is over, so you must be done, but nothing could be further from the truth.”

After the radiation, we decided to live in Bali for three months. Back to our roots, quality time with our family, and learning the language. We had a villa in the middle of the rice fields in Canggu with a pool. No one can take this time together away from us. I look back on a tough but also incredibly loving year, from which my strength and our strong marriage have emerged.

After 11 years in Asia, we have now decided to live in the Netherlands again, enjoying life in an open-air museum, as we see Europe. Maastricht is a holiday destination, so we enjoy it even more.

On November 17, 2016, my reconstruction will take place, a ten-hour operation in which a new breast will be made from my belly. It is still a question for me what I will do with my healthy breast; I can't even choose which color shoes to buy, let alone make this choice! I find it exciting, but I am absolutely not dreading it. I have the best plastic surgeon you can have in the Netherlands; she is my wonder woman and will bring me back into balance!

People often think: the chemo is over, so you must be done, but nothing could be further from the truth. The coming years will still be my part-time project. I hope to gradually regain more energy and continue with Hospitality and Interior Styling.

What do I hope to achieve with my story?

I try to make girls realize that breast cancer does not only occur in senior women. One in eight women encounters it, and many of them are unfortunately too young. Being young and having cancer is often even more annoying, with respect to the seniors, of course. When you are young, you are busy with other things, such as going out and traveling. Hot flashes, osteoporosis, and forgetfulness should be a far-from-your-bed show...

I hope to influence in various ways, perhaps at cancer clinics or directly with fellow patients. Being young and having cancer should not be a taboo.

Over time

Appearance has always been important to me, sometimes more than at other times. I am someone who can go outside without shame without makeup, that much is true. Due to the chemo, I lost my hair, including my eyebrows and eyelashes. I looked just like an Easter egg. I learned how to draw eyebrows and wrap headscarves like Erykah Badu. Makeup was a must, more than ever. My husband shaved my hair off with ‘Diamonds’ by Rihanna in the background.

I now have hair on my head again. I have always wanted to have short hair, but I didn't dare to take the step to a pixie cut voluntarily. I am happy with it now; every three weeks my hair looks different, and I can experiment a lot with it. In two years, I will have had all possible hairstyles, and it will be long again. By that time, I will decide again which hairstyle I ultimately want.

What are you wearing today?

I am wearing a long cardigan and a blouse from Costes today. The gray skinny pants are from Uniqlo and come from Shanghai. The black suede shoes with block heels are from Nalini and come from Monfrance in Maastricht. My earrings come from Le Marais in Paris. I wear my engagement ring designed by my husband himself in Shanghai. An asscher cut with cascade diamonds.