Happy & Healthy

Renske had a strange mole and received the news that you really don't want to hear

Ten months ago, I saw it for the first time. A strange mole on my right upper arm. And yet I did nothing about it. I was pregnant and about to give birth, so all my attention went to that. Besides, it probably wasn't anything, right? But two months ago, I became worried again and went to the doctor. To my shock, he also found it a remarkable spot and immediately referred me to the dermatologist.

Well, sit down for this! It turned out to be a melanoma. Skin cancer, yes. And do you know what it is? When you're 35 and have just brought two children into the world, that's just not what you want to hear (okay, you never want to hear it). Of course, you know it can happen, that it could be a melanoma, but secretly you just think it won't happen to you. Because hey: you're still young (tell me I'm still young), you live healthily, you've been applying sunscreen pretty well all those years, you've just had kids, you went on another world trip, you were going to launch a webshop, and maybe you even wanted to become a world-famous vlogger, or an extremely famous singer, or you know what: a designer, because maybe you're just as good as Victoria Beckham and let's be honest; she was just Posh Spice at first too?! And she couldn't even sing well. But above all, you want to see your children grow up. You want to see them go to school with heavy backpacks, help them with their homework (not with math, you need to hire someone for that) and cheer for them when they graduate. You definitely don't want anything to do with cancer and want to die only when you're 98. Old, but content, in a beautifully made bed. Preferably at the moment when the sun is just setting and the sky is beautifully red. With of course the most beautiful music in the background, and a last glass of wine in hand. But that's really a matter of having an incredible amount of luck. There is really no one up there who thinks: let's skip her in the distribution of misery, because she still has so much to do. She only wants to die when she's 98. No. A doctor can really just tell you one day: it's cancer.

”But I cheer. I toast to life. And from now on, I really really really count all my blessings.”

There was also immediately good news. It turned out to be a very small melanoma with little chance of metastasis. Not that I was reassured by that (if you start googling, you'll see what I mean): I no longer trusted my own body, stood for hours in front of the mirror looking for new suspicious moles, and at night, before going to sleep, I thought: maybe I AM GOING TO DIE? Maybe it has spread after all and there's nothing more to be done? But fortunately, the melanoma has really been completely removed and the surrounding skin appears ’clean‘. I'm doing very well. However, it is not 100 percent certain that it will never come back. Or worse, that the melanoma has spread after all. The chance is super small, but it is there.

But I cheer. I toast to life. And from now on, I really really really count all my blessings. Because in one fell swoop, you realize during such a period what it's all about. That you do what you love in life, that you have dear friends and family, that you are healthy and that the people you love are healthy. The rest is ultimately all secondary. Not that I suddenly never want new shoes and clothes, what do you think I'm here for, I urgently need new shoes and a nineties denim short, but in the end, it's about being healthy and staying that way. And that there are people who love you.

What I want to say further: I was surprised that you can still function relatively well during periods of anxious uncertainty. That you just keep breathing, keep eating and drinking, keep laughing (only at really good jokes) and that you just get on your bike to work. And then even go out to dinner afterwards. It makes no sense to sit in a corner crying, so you keep your head up. You just go to bed and get up again. Because what else can you do? I used to always have the tendency to freak out hard at the possibility of (even more) bad news, in an attempt to keep things under control. Because then maybe the actual bad news would hit less hard? All nonsense, I know now. My lesson is: only scream when there's a fire and not before. You might as well accept the uncertain situation as it is. In the end, it made me less anxious and I could actually handle it better.

That was it, dear people. And, keep checking your moles. Do you see something strange? Off to the doctor! And please apply sunscreen well.. Because skin cancer, you just don't want it.

Want to know more? Among other things, on the website Huidarts.com you will find more information about melanoma. You can also go to Stichting Melanoom.