SAYING GOODBYE DOES NOT EXIST

For almost two weeks, I have known that I need to write this piece, and for two weeks, I have been putting it off, trying to figure out how to say what I want to say. But I can't figure it out, so I'll just tell you: this will be my last article on Amayzine.com.

There. The high word is out, I am leaving Amayzine. Not because it's boring here, but because sometimes you need to take new steps in life. Then it's time for something new, something different, whatever that may be. Such a decision is of course not made lightly, and believe me when I say that I have lost sleep over it. But after much weighing and even more consideration, I concluded that I had to make this decision. I don't yet know what exactly is coming my way, but sometimes you have to take a leap into the deep end to be able to swim further.

“A dream and a vision of May, which started in a small cramped attic room with a handful of people”

Amayzine was, or actually is, my first real job. The first time I was so involved, day in and day out for 2.5 years, with something with all my heart and soul. And not just anything, but a site, a brand, that didn't even exist when I joined. A dream and a vision of May, which started in a small cramped attic room with a handful of people. Soon we were short on desks and meters, and it was time for a new place, and now Amayzine is created in the most beautiful office in the city by a large team of each and every one amazing people, and hundreds of thousands of people read along daily.

Through Amayzine, I learned how writing for the internet works, how tough that is, how high the pressure is to produce a new good piece every time, to meet tight deadlines sometimes at the last minute. I learned what it is like to be part of a close-knit team, what it is like when you suddenly share a large part of your life online with people you have never seen but who read your pieces every time and often give heartwarming sweet and nice responses.

Amayzine took me to fashion week in New York, London, Paris, Milan, I went on press trips to Canada, Peru, France, Hungary, Mallorca, South Tyrol, London, I met Bill Cunningham and went to his home, and above all: I formed close friendships that I hope will last forever in my life.

No matter how much I stand behind my decision, writing this farewell column is still quite heavy for me. It is so special to be part of a company that you have seen built from the ground up, to have so much fun with the people you work with, and to be able to write every day for the most loyal and cheerful readers you could wish for as a site. And to have to say goodbye to that is just not fun for anyone, to use my favorite hobby horse once again.

But, saying goodbye does not exist. I keep telling myself that extra often now. And now I want to take a little Oscar moment to first thank May for founding Amayzine and for allowing me to be part of it. That she saw something in me and offered me a place as editor, that she understands better than anyone how to make work enjoyable, that she has always given me so much, that I got to write about characters like Peter Jan Rens and Virginia, that she sends me sweet messages when intense things happen in my private life, that she regularly asks how I am really doing, that we can shamelessly sigh at 12:00 that we haven't had a drink all day, that I can safely laugh at her a little when she produces extremely bizarre typos again (inside joke for May: white lwnnen), that I know she is probably giggling out loud while reading ‘lwnnen’ and that despite being officially my boss, she really feels more like a friend.

And I also want to thank you (look, now it really becomes Oscar-worthy), the readers. The emails with kind words, the nice responses on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, how loyal most of you follow Amayzine and everyone who has ever approached me on the street with: “Hey, you are Liesbeth from Amayzine!” Really, I found that so incredibly fun and nice.

I am going to miss you and Amayzine immensely. But sports commentator Ernie Harwell once said: “It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.” And I gladly join that. Goodbye dear beautiful wonderful nice fine Amayzine, goodbye dear beautiful wonderful nice fine readers and colleagues, I have had indescribably fun with you.