Guilty Pleasures
ILONKA LEENHEER
If Carrie Bradshaw had a role model, it would be Ilonka Leenheer. She is Sex and the City avant la lettre and she still sits in the front row of everything that breathes coolness and hipness. She was the reason I bought ELLE and I have laughed out loud a hundred times at her stories. How wonderful that we roll out our pink carpet for her, because starting next week she will also write for Amayzine. To get used to the fresh meat we have in the tub, here is a summary of her quirks. Because without them, you are obviously not in your place here.
What is your most used excuse?
‘That I have a headache. Although it’s usually really true. You have those people who say they never have headaches, or once a year. I don’t understand that concept. Or “I waited for hours on the tram. But really.”’
Which movie, TV show, or series makes you cry every time?
‘I am addicted to hospital series; it all started with St. Elsewhere, but ER is the hospital series of all hospital series for me. Every episode was so cleverly constructed; halfway through there was already a near-crying moment to prepare you for the Big Real Crying at the end – which I always did, really crying, at the end. I still get goosebumps when I think of the stabbing incident where Carter almost lost his life, and I almost had a trauma over the death of Dr. Mark Greene, it affected me that much. Grey’s Anatomy also works for me, McDreamy really didn’t have to die and neither did George.
Other good crying moments: Love Actually, when Emma Thompson implodes in the bedroom; Four Weddings and a Funeral, when John Hannah recites the Stop All The Clocks poem by W.H. Auden; Terms of Endearment, when Debra Winger’s sons have to say goodbye to her, well, the list is too long, I fall for every tearjerker. And that rotten tango of Máxima, always spot on.’
Your ultimate guilty pleasure?
‘YouTube videos of cats, baby goats, and otters. I laugh so hard and/or cry from emotion. And then keep replaying it.’
What bad music do you secretly enjoy?
‘I have ridiculously good taste in music, I don’t enjoy bad music. But once every few years, I turn off my taste for a day and belt out sad songs at friends’ places on their Jordanese doorstep during King’s Day.’
What is your secret hobby?
‘Can you call internet shopping a hobby? Then that. I can shop for a whole evening and put everything in baskets and then end up buying nothing. But I can also become so obsessed with a piece of clothing that I google for hours until I find the best deal or stalk it every day until it’s finally discounted.’
And your strangest trait?
‘I find all my traits quite normal. Other people sometimes say that I lie in bed for a long time. I don’t see that as a problem. I also enjoy doing my whole face on the couch and trying out everything, without having any further plans to go outside. But how else do you learn to draw flawless eyeliners? I’d rather find out on the couch that smoky eyes make me look ten years older than have someone tell me that on the street.’
Do you have an obsession?
‘I find flying quite a hassle, but it has to be done if you like to travel, so I have a whole list of secret rituals to control my fears and neuroses. One of them I’m willing to share: I want to precisely determine where I sit on the plane. It has to feel ‘right’ (yes, I know). So I set my alarm to check in online first.’
What would people really not expect from you?
‘That I have a small collection of piercings and tattoos.’
What is your biggest pointless irritation?
‘Tourists and waiting for the tram.’
And in terms of food? What do you secretly eat on the couch that you really shouldn’t?
‘Cheapass chocolate bars with hazelnuts from Delicata.’
Which words do you actually use just a bit too often?
‘Seriously. But really. One more then.’
