Fun & Famous

SOME THINGS JUST SOUND BETTER THAN THEY ARE

Some things just sound better than they are. That's just how it works in life, I've come to realize. Here are my nine most important things.

1. Exercising.

Sounds like: very nice, because it's fantastic to be slim and fit and super healthy.

In real life: you're tired. And you just ate. And you're lying on the couch. And there's chocolate. And to get to the gym, you first have to get off the couch, which is not happening because there's a very heavy blanket on you.

2. Taking a mask.

Sounds like: hard-earned me-time. And your face will be very beautiful and rosy afterwards.

In real life: you just ordered food and what if the delivery person rings the doorbell?

3. Sorting out your pension.

Sounds like: misery, so this really shouldn't be on the list because it's so not fun to think about your pension let alone actually sorting it out. I can remember the first three minutes of my last conversation with my pension company and the other twenty minutes are still blank.

4. Making a healthy salad with fresh goat cheese and raspberries just like in the restaurant.

Sounds like: great and super healthy and finally you'll become a fit girl.

In real life: the problem with making your own salad is that you actually have to make it yourself and that's just way too much work, you're completely exhausted, just like tomorrow is another day.

5. Cleaning out your wardrobe.

Sounds like: a wonderfully tidy house.

In real life: you can't find your wardrobe because the iPad screen is in front of your face.

6. Calling your mom back.

Sounds like: the ideal daughter.

In real life: you first have to drink wine with a friend, oh she cancels, then Netflix it is.

7. Doing the weekly grocery shopping.

Sounds like: an organized life without tantrums in the supermarket every evening.

In real life: unfortunately, you can't decide on Monday what you're going to eat on Friday. Only psychics can do that.

8. Wearing your new high heels to that opening party.

Sounds like: a great plan, people will be amazed, as beautiful as they are.

In real life: you don't feel like sitting all evening.

9. Turning your life upside down and starting a B&B in France or a vineyard.

Sounds like: brave, cool, and inspiring, the television will surely want to make a documentary.

In real life: maybe you should first learn Italian or French and you need time for that. Difficult, difficult.