Fun & Famous
THE 17 BEST (AND
HARDEST) JOKES FROM
THE ROAST OF GORDON
Last night I seriously made a child laugh awake. Luckily it was my own child. Imagine if a child three houses down had been sitting up in bed, I would have really gone overboard. But: The Roast of Gordon. If you love hard humor, you just have to see it. And since the site to watch it back is down, I'm sharing the 17 best jokes. Spoiler: sensitive souls might as well stop reading now.
1. Peter Pannekoek to Erik de Zwart:
“Erik de Zwart could have been my father. Luckily my mother had pepper spray with her that night.”
2. Erland Galjaard to Bridget Maasland:
“You don't have to look at me so surprised. Oh no, you always look like that. That's because of those tattooed eyebrows of yours.”
3. Erland to Gordon:
“You've told me several times that you would stop presenting. Just stick to your promise for once.”
4. Sophie Hilbrand to Gordon:
“The only thing black in your surroundings is the outside of your condom. Oh no, you don't use condoms.”
5. Jörgen Raymann to Sophie Hilbrand:
“You have so many grooves in your face that you could play 78 RPM records on them.”
6. Peter Pannekoek about Bridget Maasland:
“Bridget advocates for stray dogs. Now there are people who say about Bridget: “I would still pull my dog away from her”, but that dog would just end up back with Bridget anyway.”
7. Jörgen Raymann about Bridget:
“That woman is such a fridge, if you spread her legs, a light turns on.”
8. Sophie Hilbrand about Bridget:
“What almost nobody knows is that half of the movie ‘The Hell of 1963’ was filmed between Bridget's legs.”
9. Sophie to Erland:
“Erland, we have spoken before because you wanted to give your channel more depth. I understand that you have abandoned that idea now that I see Bridget sitting there so comfortably.”
10. Sophie to Erland:
“Everyone keeps talking about your coke problem. I don't get it, you both earn incredibly well and can buy all the coke you want. I don't see the problem.”
11. BraboNeger (a.k.a. Steven Brunswijk) about Erik:
“My great-great-great-great-grandfather played marbles with you. He didn't want to at all, but he had to. Old slave driver.”
12. BraboNeger to Erland:
“Erland, actually you are an uberpimp. You make your wife work for you and pocket all the money yourself.”
13. Sophie about Sander Lantinga:
“What I like about Sander is that he doesn't do things for the full 100%. No, he goes completely for that 25%.”
14. Sophie about Sander:
“What is also nice to know is that Sander can lay carpet very well. The last thing he did was Erik de Zwart's hair.”
15. Peter Pannekoek to Bobbi Eden:
“I hardly recognized you. With your clothes on. And without sperm on the screen.”
16. Peter also to Bobbi:
“You are the first woman in the world who had to change her name because it was too slutty for porn.‘ (Bobbi – Priscilla, ed.)
17. Sander to Gordon:
“This evening is a celebration of recognition for you: nine men trying to screw each other and it's being recorded too.”
Hats off to Gordon, comfort for Bridget (you were looking good), applause for Wendy who was laughing so wonderfully in the audience, and hats off to Sophie, who was almost funnier than Peter Pannekoek and, as far as I'm concerned, also the prettiest. Grooves or not.
