Happy & Healthy

THE FIGHT AGAINST THE KILOS

(part 237)

The moment you can no longer fit into your favorite dress, you know something is seriously wrong. Not only does the zipper no longer close (although that's already miserable enough), but also the seam seems to be practically tearing apart. Really holy macaroni, what have I been up to these past few months. I think that's where it all went wrong: at the macaroni part of this story.

But: there is hope. I've been on a roll for the past two weeks and didn't actually want to shout it from the rooftops (because I'm afraid of Sjaak Afhaak practices), but by now I'm completely ‘in’ it, in that weight loss mode. Not with a schedule, not with a scale, but just with my brain. Thuisbezorgd.nl is temporarily off-limits (sorry guys, clearly a 20 percent loss in revenue in the coming months) and you'll be exercising with that butt, hoppa. I started with OneFit and I'm seriously dipping bell pepper in Hüttenkäse as a snack. Or eating a piece cucumber. I know, I find it a bit strange myself.

‘The only thing I can think of right now: a piece of the new Tony’s Chocolonely bars that have been delivered here at the editorial office.’

What makes this weight loss attempt different from the others? There is a goal. And losing weight with a goal is the secret. Like for your wedding and such, then people suddenly manage to lose ten kilos. Only to spend the rest of your life looking longingly/sourly at that tiny dress you can never fit into again, but hey, you shined on your big day. That's worth something too. Anyway, I'm not getting married. I'm going on vacation in eight weeks, so that's going to be the goal. And with bigger goals, it's handy to set smaller mini-goals. And with smaller mini-goals come rewards. So here we go:

– 1 kilo: do you seriously think you get a reward for this? Ha-ha. HAHAHA. Just keep pushing, kid.

– 2 kilo: okay, still a bit too early to celebrate. But hey, a massage from your boy, you deserve that.

-3 kilo: at this point, I think I deserve a free pass to listen to Justin Bieber all day at the editorial office. On repeat. Without anyone being allowed to say anything about it.

– 4 kilo: ha, at four kilos I can just treat myself to a nice dinner again.

– 5 kilo: the only thing I can think of right now: a piece of the new Tony’s Chocolonely bars that have been delivered here at the editorial office. Not. Thinking. About. It. Anymore. AAAAH.

– 6 kilo: a little shopping session then? A nice dress, a new bag, maybe some pants that don't slide down my butt? Good idea.

– 7 kilo: obviously I can get a new bikini at this point to shine on vacation. Besides: I guess I'll have a cup size less, so this is downright necessary.

– 8 kilo: rapapapam… And for the main goal (the magic 8) we’re going all out. Kid, you get to go on VACATION. A tropical island. With a boyfriend. And a cocktail. And a tight body. Let’s do this!