Happy & Healthy
This is what happened on Renske's first day at work
Our former editor Liesbeth has left the building and that has resulted in an acute gap that needs filing. And so I will temporarily be filling that gap until May-Britt finds a new, stunning, ultra smart editor who walks around in shoes that cost more than some peoples monthly rent. This situation alone is already nerve-wracking, but there's something even more horrifying currently taking place. My very first day at the office with... A gigantic COLD SORE.
It's a disaster.
I mean, I'm already nowhere near as good looking as Liesbeth. But then I also show up with a cold sole on my very first day. As you might understand, I spent days coming up with ways to kill myself get rid of it and have been popping one Acyclovir pill after another, but I think there was some sort of dark force working against me because the god damn cold sore was still there on my first day. Just to spite me. I mean, what else is a cold sore for?
Alright, to try and lift my spirits I've made a list of situations that are far worse on your very first day at a new job. I had a slight blackout, because: what in the world can be worse that a cold sore on your first day?! But I came up with the following (check out May-Britt's fashion mishap on her first day of work here).
1. You rip out of your new pair of pants (and you only just bought them last week in a size smaller because you were planning to lose weight). But okay, so now you've ripped out of your pants, you have your first meeting and you don't have an extra pair and borrowing one is out of the question (you'd rather die). Your office is in the middle of nowhere and the nearest store miles away, so what do you do now? Disaster.
2. You realize you were supposed to bring your own lunch. But you didn't. And you still work in the middle of nowhere and there isn't even a gas station in walking distance. Asking a new colleague for something to eat is an absolute no go; it would single handily destruct your organised and sensible image. Long story short: you now have to live off of cups of coffee all day. Which is great if you want to loose weight, but as soon as the clock strikes four you'll be feeling oozy and it won't be surprising if you are stammering. Oh the misery.
“You live an hour and a half drive away from your new office, so what do you do? You have no idea so you decide to lock yourself up in the broom closet”
3. You really really need to head to the bathroom for a number two but you're too afraid to do it because you work at an office that's so tiny and the toilet borders the room you work in. You spend your entire day debating whether you should or shouldn't go, because what if your colleagues can hear you? Hell on Earth doesn't even come close to this. So then you decide not to go and end up walking around with the most severe cramps for an entire day.
4. I know a story about someone who tripped over a banana peel on their first day of work. I kid you not. The worst part of it all was that absolutely nobody did anything to help her and so she just laid there in the middle of the office.
5. You forget to bring your laptop, because apparently you were supposed to bring it, because the company is so very hip. No one has an extra one for you to borrow, because even the slightest bit of hipster never carries around two. You live an hour and a half drive away from your new office, so what do you do? You have no idea so you decide to lock yourself up in the broom closet.
Alright, okay. I feel a bit better now. And feel free to lift my spirits on Facebook and tell me all about your hell of a first day at work anecdote.
