Happy & Healthy

THE HANGOVER REALLY COMES LATER (WHEN YOU'RE GROWN UP)

Okay, my most embarrassing hangover ever? That dates back only two years. First, I was sitting in a Greek restaurant with a salad featuring the most delicious feta in the world accompanied by a fruity white wine. But before I knew it, I was downing ouzo in a local bar with our new best friends aka the waiters. I tried to weakly order a beer in between, but by that time, my boyfriend was already translating the concept of the Jägerbomb into English. Like a wheel, I zigzagged my way back to the hotel around five in the morning, and it was really just supposed to be a quick drink with them.

So you finally fall asleep while the world spins around you at mach three, then you are a happy person. But then morning came. Normally, a new day is a nice thing. Until you taste a nauseating combo of tzatziki, ouzo, Jägermeister, and whatever else was past its expiration date. Being the sunshine that I was, I sent my poor beloved up to the beach (just after his heartfelt embrace with the toilet bowl). On my little bed, I entered a delayed stage of binge drinking, and a few hours later I woke up and was HUNGRY. He was looking for fruit because I HAD to eat. But after his first ten meters on the beach, the first wave hit me. OH MY GOD. I was sweating so hard that a cold dive seemed like a luxury. And that was also my only way out. To the left was a fresh couple with a baby, to the right a satisfied retired couple. No way I could discreetly relieve my heart (stomach) in a German little hole in the sand. Like a Baywatch girl, I sprinted into the bright blue sea, swam a lap and... Well, I'll spare you the further details. I can only say that the entire underwater world was not hungry that day. Yes, gross. But back in the day, huh? I used to hit obscure bars with liters of mixed drinks and the next morning I felt no pain. And that's why I wonder, do your hangovers grow with the years?

The answer is yes. Ha, May thought you just drink more as you get older, but that's not true at all. Well, maybe one glass, but let's forget that for a moment. The point is that your hangover gets worse. And that, dear everyone, is due to the breakdown of your muscles and the buildup of fat. I swear, that muscle-fat thing haunts me (read here for a moment). But as you age, those fat cells take over your muscle mass. Muscles contain water, which dilutes the alcohol and voilà: that humongous hangover from your younger years washes away. But as you age, your liver also doesn't cooperate anymore, because it rebels against all that poison (another word for your favorite Sauvignon). To fine-tune things, you're also not as unstoppable as you were in your twenties (yes, I know) and that doesn't help with recovery. Resulting in a hangover squared.

You can train for it, no worries. That morning feels less heavy in your twenties because you have those day afters more frequently after student parties. So the more often you go all out, the milder your hangovers become. I'm not saying you should end your Tuesdays and Thursdays standardly drunk in the glow of the fluorescent lights of your favorite shawarma store, huh? But I'm flying to a Greek island next week, so if you're looking for me this weekend, I'll be training in the local bar. And if you're twenty, invincible, and made of muscles? Enjoy it while it lasts.