Fun & Famous

THE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT OF PATRICIA PAAY

In 6 remarkable facts

Let me start by saying that I think Patries is amazing, no doubt about that. If anyone can drink a bottle of wine on a Monday night, it’s probably her. But look at her Instagram account and you’ll be shocked. As in: really shocked. As in: what the heck is this woman doing? Management, isn’t it better to protect Patricia from this kind of nonsense?

Four days ago, she tied the knot with her 35 years younger love Robbert Hinfelaar. By the way, there is quite a bit of doubt about the authenticity of that marriage, as it could very well be a publicity stunt for a new show, something with Say Yes To The Dress. In that case, Patries, the queen of self-promotion, has at least pulled off a good stunt. But I still hope for true love. And true love must be captured on Instagram.

Patricia doesn’t post much (so far eight photos) and doesn’t seem to have the most followers for a celebrity (a meager 4800), but what really surprises me are the social media choices she makes. Here they come:

1. The missing nail stylist

Shouldn’t you have filled in your nails before your wedding? (Says someone who has been walking around with the same chipped nail polish for three weeks. But seriously: if you’re getting married, this just can’t happen.)

2. The butt

Do you guys live in a caravan? Where else could this shabby photo have been taken? I also don’t quite understand the function of that sixty-plus butt. Although I would sign up NOW for such a booty when I hit that age, but on Insta? I’ll pass.

3. The butt 2.0

So you have eight photos on your account, and then you just post the same butt again a few weeks later. The big La Paay porn quiz: by the way, what’s lying on the left in the background: a. A dildo, b. a pepper mill or c. oh no, it’s hairspray! Anyone?

4. Deleting comments is sometimes allowed, you know. Really.

5 bonus points if you can spot all the spelling mistakes in the following comment: “@patricia_paay You are still a lust object for me in your photos. I still masturbate to you.”

5. Again: that’s really allowed…

Or this one, also nice: “I f***ed you at slotplein you weren’t wearing any panties…” (this comment goes further, but I’ll spare you those words for now). Maybe it’s time to block some creeps?

6. And last but not least: the new boy

Patries posted a photo of her love on March 22. With the delightfully uncomplicated caption: “Photo session Maurice”. With Maurice looking cheeky at the camera with bigger bling in his ear than Cristiano Ronaldo. Result: 79 likes. Yikes…

Patries, maybe a little social media lesson? I can use a few new tools here at the Amayzine editorial office too. And then that bottle of wine?