Fun & Famous

This is the strangest vacation book ever

And it's about fingering through your pants

No one has time to read anymore. At least, I don't. Yeah, sorry about that. And if I do have time to read, I'd rather watch a series or check very important status updates on Facebook and Instagram. But well, the impossible has happened recently: I actually read a book again in between Facebooking and I can tell you: you all have to read it too.

It's about the debut novel by Miranda July, ‘The First Wrong Man’. For those wondering: what was it again with Miranda July? Well, you mainly know her from the film Me and You and Everyone You Know. That was a cult hit, just unbelievable, you're really a fool if you've never seen that movie. But back to the book. ‘The First Wrong Man’ is about Cheryl, a bit of a tragic, single, remarkable woman who takes in/gets the daughter of her bosses. This young lady takes over the entire household (tons of dishes, a weird stinky smell because she hardly ever showers, mess everywhere). And that's not even all: she also enjoys fighting. With Cheryl. Which is of course a very remarkable hobby: where most people would kick such a typical kid out the door immediately, Cheryl just lets her live with her. With all the consequences that entails. I won't spoil everything, but eventually Cheryl will come to enjoy the fights. Truly.

”And there's something else: Cheryl is in love with an ancient colleague, Philip”

And there's something else: Cheryl is in love with an ancient colleague, Philip. Who in turn has the hots for a sixteen-year-old girl. Philip really wants to pursue this love, but he wants permission from Cheryl, who keeps not responding. While waiting for her permission, Philip (often on behalf of his 16-year-old new love) sends the most remarkable text messages. Take this one:

I HAD TO LET YOU KNOW FROM HER THAT I FINGERED HER THROUGH HER JEANS. ACCORDING TO US, THAT DOESN'T COUNT. NO ORGASM.

Well, who wouldn't want to read that? And if you don't want to read it, then just don't? Who cares. I couldn't care less, go check Facebook again.

But if you do read it, enjoy! I find her writing style at times extremely hilarious, like when Cheryl says she's very satisfied with her ear (???!!) and that's why she likes to enter a room with her ear first. I mean, I was lying under the table. Not that you have to lie under the table too, that's entirely up to you, but I just wanted to mention it. We live in a free country, you know, goodness, fine then, I'll stop.

Miranda July, The First Wrong Man (De Bezige Bij) 

Price: €19.90

Ps. Want more reading material? Check out these book tips from May.