Travel & Hotspots

WHAT I ALWAYS THINK IN THE AIRPLANE

Olé, it's summer and vacation is banging on the door like a madman. That brings me to the airplane. Am I the only one in the questioning-or-thinking-about-all-the-weird-things camp or do you do that too?

What then? Well this:

– Is she really sitting by the emergency exit? How are you going to get that door open for me? How?

– If the seat next to me is still free: please don't sit here, please don't sit here, oh god, hello.

– Ha, I have super responsible homemade goodies in my bag. And yes, I'll have one of those sticky wraps with cardboard cheese and a light cola (the chance that I'm not the only one thinking this is big).

– An airplane only needs half the runway to take off, the rest is safety margin. I believe, because someone once told me that. But what if that's not true, right?!

– I need to go to the bathroom. Shit, it's probably too dirty to touch. No, I'll wait. (And then five hours later, rushing to the toilet at the airport and it's dirty, dirty, dirty.)

– Which of these people would inflate a life vest in the airplane during an emergency landing at sea?

– Listen to those instructions now, people, listen.

– I actually want to read that book from my suitcase, but that bearded man on the left has to get up. Nah, never mind. I'll flip through that airplane magazine again.

– How many people would have flipped through this magazine before me? Ugh, gross.

– Does anyone actually still buy something on the airplane? Isn't that too much for a bottle, right? Let's see what it normally costs. Oh no, airplane prices.

– Is someone's 4G still on? Maybe the equipment is interfering. Someone must have their 4G still on. So anti-social.

– Do I look relaxed and calm enough for this kind of turbulence?

– Can someone do something about that baby? Oh no, the poor child. But just make sure it stops screaming. Thanks. Those little ears of theirs, poor things.

– Nice, not nice, nice, not nice, nice (about the stewards and stewardesses).

– All pilots and flight attendants are doing it with each other. And her, would she too?

– Oh nooo, forgot gum. Is no one looking? Nose closed, mouth closed, blow. I probably look like a goldfish.

Written by Adeline Mans