I’m a terrible and hypocritical ‘stay-at-homer’. I go on holidays all the time (he better be wise and keep his lips sealed about this) but when I’m the one that’s being left behind while he skedaddles to another country, I seriously can’t even deal.

My boy Sander is on his annual skiing trip with his friends and I’ve turned into quite the grumpy cat. (You know, the one you always see people using for memes.) Not because I don’t think he deserves to go, he definitely does. But because HE is gone and I’m… Not. Maybe it’s just another typical case of FOMO  or I can’t stand the fact that I’m the one ‘waiting’ at home. Bridget Jones style; sad and alone, eating out a tub of ice cream on the couch waiting for my loved one to return. My feminist heart bursts into tears when that last sentence dawns on me. Anyway, I don’t consider myself as the ‘whiny girlfriend’ type but I do have one demand and one demand only when my partner goes away; that he calls me once every night. Just so I know that he’s okay and so that he can tell me about his day.

First night. I wake up at 3:30 AM, I look at my phone which has no missed calls and I think that my man is, A: buried under the snow after an avalanche, B: I just wasn’t important enough tonight or even worse, C: his drunk ass was taken home by a couple of horny girls in skimpy Octoberfest dresses. And I quote: “I don’t even get a goodnight text? Greedy.” Looking back at this text, I laugh at myself. You see, I didn’t write this. My soul was temporarily taken over by an extremely frustrated woman. I read “I’m sorry baby, I fell asleep” on my screen the next morning at 8:30. I fell asleep… Typical male response.

Second day. I get a call at 9:30 PM. I can barely understand him due to the schnitzel, schnapps and many shots that has already inhaled by this point. “Yes, everything’s great here, babe. I had fun après-skiing. We’re walking down a hill right now and we’re kinda -HICCUP- lost…” On the one hand I really can’t stand drunk phone calls like this one, they give me the urge to book the first flight out to Austria, jump on a snow mobile and save my man and probably yell at him afterwards. On the other hand, his tipsy simple self always makes me laugh. So in the end I decide to stop worrying and just let him have his booze and ski fest with his boys. A little bothered and grumpy though, I’ll admit.

Has your SO been gone for a week as well? Have you noticed that you’re starting to get giddy?  Then keep reading before you verbally kick his ass the next time you call him.

  1. Being in a relationship simply means you need to take the risk of letting each other do your own thing. It’s a sign that you’ve got a healthy relationship when both of you ‘live your own lives’ too. However, keep in mind, there are always boundaries.
  2. You want him to spend his holiday as you’d imagine it; your way. Try to understand that trying to change another person is useless. It’s only bound to cause tension.
  3. True love knows no fear. As cliché as this sounds, love is a positive energy. It’s all about fun, intimacy, a deep sense of trust and wanting nothing but the best for each other. Yes, those twenty beers in the pub are also a part of that. Horny girls in Octoberfest costumes are not. I repeat: are not.
  4. Try to realize that completely attaching yourself to your SO is selfish. It might seem like a way to show your unconditional love for that person, but the truth of the matter is that you want to control the other person because of your own insecurities. You might feel insecure in going through life alone, or you’re scared to lose your partner. Even though there’s no reason to feel this way. You’re the prettiest, right? Duh.

Written by Kiki Düren