12X IRRITANTE DINGEN
IN EEN RESTAURANT
That it’s quite a cozy affair at the editorial office, you all know that. But even outside the editorial doors, we can’t do without each other. So at least once a month, we put the bottles of wine on the table and have a bite to eat. And because we are all quite fond of the Italian (as in: food, because Italians are too short for me, ha!), this time it became a calorie-rich party in Utrecht. And when you move to Utrecht specifically for that one pasta specialty, you want that one pasta too.
‘Sorry madam, but for that special pasta of the day with a glass of champagne, you should have made a reservation for tonight.’
Sir, you are dealing with five hungry journalists (okay, you know what I mean) who are coming to Utrecht specifically for YOUR pasta and that’s not going to happen? After a ten-minute discussion, the conclusion was that we could just order the relevant pasta. It was actually on the menu as standard. Okay, where does it go wrong?
Situations like this make my originally hospitality hands itch immensely. And so there is a whole series of annoyances in a restaurant that you probably recognize. I’ve bundled them for you.
1. Do you know those types who come to your table to take your order but first (with elbows on the table) introduce themselves extensively and almost tell you whether they prefer their sauce on top or on the side? I absolutely hate it. Look, in America you accept that and it’s somewhat part of the setting. But dear Joost, I just want a glass of wine. And you are being paid to bring that to me. Bye.
2. Joost who then comes to ask every twenty seconds if everything is still to your liking. Joost, buddy, I can find you. And now get lost...
3. And you really don’t have to end every sentence with ‘you know’. Because YES, I really do know, you know. Okay, this was just an inside joke...
4. When you ask for a little extra mayonnaise and Joost leaves the table with a sigh. Sorry young man, that you chose this profession.
5. When you’ve just taken the last bite and your plate is already pulled away from under your nose.
6. Would you like a dessert? Well, kind sir the waiter, I might want to swallow my last piece of tenderloin first. Then I’ll finish my glass of wine, oh, you know what? Just bring another one. And then I’ll see you again in half an hour. JOOST.
7. Being served an extra round of bread unasked (which also gets eaten, because fresh bread with an extra spread of butter is the absolute best), but then discovering five euros for bread on your bill.
“Because hey, it wasn’t due to the company
…”
8. Service that doesn’t go beyond dry white wine and sweet white wine. Red is red and white is white. Chardonnay? No, Chardonnay doesn’t work here.
9. Getting cold fries and also receiving angry looks when you ask for a portion of FRESH fries (I’m paying for that, Joost). And you can leave that half salt shaker out.
10. Joost who keeps refilling your water, while you’ve already said three times that you don’t need any more water (that water is also on the bill with three bottles).
11. Or worse: having to pay for a bottle of water while it’s just coming from the tap, poured into a glass bottle.
12. And if you finally want the bill, the entire staff is on a smoke break.
We ate our pasta, ordered another bottle of wine, and we accepted those extra bottles of water on the bill. Because hey, it wasn’t due to the company...
