Happy & Healthy
6X WHY YOU SHOULD DATE OLD-FASHIONED AGAIN
I have a kind of love-hate relationship with the dating app of the moment. Tinder, yes. I resisted the trend in single land for a long time, but according to my friend group, I really couldn't do without it if I wanted to meet someone. By now, I have about a hundred matches and a RSI finger richer, but a real match? Not at all. Actually, it has become a kind of replacement for my pre-bedtime pages that I normally read before going to sleep. ‘Just a little more swiping’, pure time-wasting. Until yesterday, because like other millennials, I suffer from happiness stress and thus have an appointment with myself. If you missed this, take a look here. And I don't know what I like more, or yes, actually I do know that. I find the swiping much more entertaining than the stories that follow. Because after telling my life story a thousand times, I'm a bit done with: ‘Hey hello, what is such a pretty girl doing here on Tinder?’ Well, friend, not because I want someone in bed tonight, bye bye bye. And then I also have to keep all the storylines separate. Because what did I tell Mr. A and what did Mr. B tell me? Was Mr. C's aunt sick or was that Mr. D? Jeez, what a hassle. I get stressed from it.
Don't you think the world was so much simpler when online dating didn't exist? You fell in love, wrote each other a note, asked for a relationship, and you got married. C'est ça. Just hatsklats, done in one go. But now we have choice stress. It all has to be perfect, all the time, otherwise it’s not worth it. He has to be smart, kind, funny, tough, caring, attractive, and actually also unattainable, otherwise we don't fall in love. Of course, I have also dated someone I found just medium and knew it wouldn't lead anywhere. And that's exactly what I'm a bit done with. Now I really don't need to get married right away, and my ovaries aren't rattling out of the pan (oh no, that's another saying), but if I do date someone, it has to be fun and especially get more fun. Medium is no longer enough. I'd rather be alone, without hassle. Because my life is fun, even without a man.
Can we just go back to old-fashioned dating? Bumping into each other at Albert Heijn: ‘Hey, what are you cooking tonight?’, ‘Want to grab a coffee sometime?’ No swiping left or right. No turn-offs because he’s wearing a checkered shirt with short sleeves in that one photo (ugh). And what do you think of these classics?
“Goodbye Tinder.”
1. Mailbox mail
The old-fashioned version of emails. Mail in the mailbox. No short text messages, but long letters that took time to write.
2. A phone call
Green checkmarks, ‘look he's just online’, ‘he read it an hour ago’. We're a bunch of stress chickens. We didn't have that when we talked on the phone twice a week instead of typing a thousand texts a day.
3. Pre-date fun
No lightning date in between soup and potatoes. No, a real planned date that you genuinely put effort into. Dress or pants? High heels or sneakers? No, what if he’s not that tall. Eyeliner or maybe a bit more? Shit, forgot to shave my legs.
4. Getting to know each other
Going into your date nice and blank without any online reference work. All fun, that internet, but we research before we really get to know someone. Not so fair, because that way we quickly have an image of someone.
5. Flowers
Where has the time gone when a man brought a bouquet of flowers on a first date? Sigh. I was born in the wrong era.
6. Asking for a relationship
And then the question: do you want to be in a relationship? No pondering and thinking about what stage you’re actually in. Nice and clear. Question, answer, done.
Look, that white horse is really not necessary, but something from above would be nice.
Goodbye Tinder.
