Happy & Healthy
7 X THINGS THAT (ALMOST) EVERYONE DOES WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING
Admit it, you do things when you're off the grid too. As in: no one can see you. I do. And I'm really not guilty of all the points on this list. Ha, or maybe I am, no soul knows. That's the delightful thing about doing things when no one is watching.
1. Hanging out on the couch with your pants undone
And really in Al Bundy style, with your hand under the waistband and firmly slouched. Yes, really… You do that too. Especially after that humongous pizza from an hour earlier, you just have to free the situation. But if unexpected guests show up at the door, you naturally button everything back up tightly.
2. Eating or drinking straight from the packaging
If possible, with your hands. I do this in the car too when I lack a fork and spoon. But it saves on dishes and that's what you want. Cola straight from the bottle when you suddenly have a cola-drinking craving or just, whoosh, scooping the takeaway salad out of the plastic.
3. Pretending you're not home
When the doorbell rings and you sit completely still on the couch. Or you crawl on your hands and knees to the window to see who it is (I've honestly never done that, yes I have). By the way, I'm also extremely quiet when my phone rings and I let it ring. Not that they see me, but for the feeling.
“That's the delightful thing about doing things when no one sees you.”
4. Licking your plate
I think there should be a warning sign in grand restaurants. Beware: plates are licked here. Sometimes you just want that, imagine if there's a leftover truffle sauce left unused. I mean: you miss out on that and that leftover haunts you for the rest of your life. So delicious. It's immensely satisfying to swirl your finger through it.
5. Sliding dirt under an object
Under your couch, under your bed, under the cabinet. Out of sight, out of mind, and then gone wrong. You'll come across it again when you give the vacuum cleaner a spin. And meanwhile something dark grows in the corners under your couch, but you don't know that anyway.
6. Spending the day like Ma Flodder
Hobbling around your house all day in your most ragged outfit. Pure bliss. When I watch Eigen Huis & Tuin on Sunday mornings, ragged outfit is the dress code. But seriously, otherwise you can't sit on the couch. By the way, Simone prefers to prance around in as little as possible. That’s fine too, but I don’t wish that pleasure (or schadenfreude) on my neighbor.
7. Doing weird things for the perfect Insta-pic
Your house is a pigsty, but you just dragged that one little table five meters for the ideal Insta-pic. Or you're standing on the bed because that picture at the head of your bed looks so good as a background. Yes, I do this. #canmegeenmoerschelen
8. Okay, fine, one more then
Studying pimples, picking your nose, standing in front of the mirror with your belly out, doing Beyoncé moves in the living room, drying the dishes with a towel. But you and I would never do this in a million years, of course. Just imagine…
