9x tips for the worrying queen
So I had a house. I thought. Unfortunately, that joy lasted only a very short time. As a result: staring at the ceiling for nights looking for a solution. Because: within thirty days I really have to leave my current apartment with my twenty boxes, fifty pairs of shoes, and super-relaxed lounge sofa. And I only have 22 days left. In short: stress.
And how wonderfully predictable I am. Whenever a serious problem or a rather important choice comes my way, the task automatically goes to the upper room. Time and again I have a kind of conviction that I will surely find the solution if I just toil enough, list all possible outcomes, and weigh my options sufficiently. It works counterproductively, my friend, you know it, I know it. Worrying is a false solution. We all know it feels anything but pleasant, but it gives the idea that we are doing something useful. Because when you have a problem, you take action. Countless studies show that you cannot simply ignore certain unwanted thoughts. On the contrary, it only makes it worse. Try forbidding yourself to think about a certain someone for five minutes. Bet that you can't think of anyone else in the coming minutes? But it's over, my friend. With these nine tips, you will bring a bit more peace to that upper room of yours.
1. Seek distraction
Do you feel a worrying moment coming on? Then deliberately do something you enjoy. Visit that friend, call your mother, or start your favorite series. You'll see that your thoughts will have disappeared after just a few minutes.
2. Avoid stress
You would think that stress at work or school is a good distraction, but research shows otherwise. Stress may provide temporary distraction, but in the long run – for example, when you finally lie in bed at night and want to sleep peacefully – it actually leads to more persistent worrying. Better to look for relaxation.
3. Procrastination
Schedule a so-called worrying moment. Although pushing thoughts away is pointless, it turns out that postponing thoughts is indeed effective. People who learn to save thoughts until a certain worrying moment experience less anxiety and panic attacks.
4. Meditation
Are you lying flat on the couch and getting more miserable by the minute? Pull yourself together and go exercise. Movement distracts and also helps you relax. A yoga class is, for example, an effective way to let go of your fears. But even a simple meditation exercise in your bedroom can work wonders. Light a candle, play some calming music, and focus on your breathing. Bring your breathing low into your belly and let thoughts come and go without drawing conclusions.
5. Worry journal
Put your thoughts on paper and preferably do this at a fixed time. This way, you worry consciously and have space to write down all your fears. Try to park it outside of that time as well.
6. Challenge yourself
Of course, you can also deliberately challenge yourself and do things that normally scare you. Make that mistake, eat that oyster, call your partner and ask why he still isn't home. Do it. You will find that reality is much less dramatic than you think.
7. Share it
You can lock yourself in your room and spend hours worrying on the couch, but you will feel anything but better for it. Share your fears with others. Talk to someone who knows you well, who understands you, and who can empathize with you. This often helps to put things into perspective. Additionally, you will find that you are certainly not the only one with worrying issues.
8. Think of a solution
Worrying puts you in a vicious circle. Your thoughts keep going and going and will never stop. Stop yourself and try to tackle the problem. List the thoughts and consequences and look for a solution. You will find that the problem is ultimately not as bad as you thought.
9. Live in the now
Most fears come from the past or from the question of what might happen in the future. Try to let that go and focus on the moment. On the here and now. Mindfulness can also be a great help here. At least, it often helps me when I feel a worrying moment coming on. Close your eyes for a few seconds, take a deep breath, and become aware of the sounds around you.
But uh, friends, in case you didn't know... I am now sleeping through the nights again. I have a house. I HAVE A HOUSE. And also the best housemate/sport buddy with whom I share a addiction part.
