EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD NOT SAY TO SOMEONE WHO JUST BECAME SINGLE

Thank god I managed to gather a group of girlfriends around me who exactly know what I need when it just ended with a loved one: wine. Give me wine and everything will be just fine. My last real big break-up was about two years ago (we’re still besties though). And don’t think that I walked around every day with a hangover from all that wine, but doing fun things with my besties kept me sane and helped a lot with the transition from having a boyfriend to going through life as a single. Probably because they were smart enough to never say the following to me:

‘You were too good for him.’

If someone had told me that beforehand, it would have saved me a lot of heartache. Or just as bad: ‘I always knew he was a jerk.’ Now she comes up with this. Maybe it’s time to dump that friend who says this to you?

‘You’ll definitely find someone someday.’

It’s in the word ‘someday‘. As if the search is going to be hell. And as if after years of being miserably alone or only dating the wrong men, you’re finally going to meet someone who wants to be with you too. Thanks.

‘It’s his loss.’

Yeah, sure. With those ‘mandatory’ comments, you’re not getting anywhere.

‘Yes, then you finally have more time for your girlfriends!’

Cheering because it’s over, that’s another thing. Better not do it. But make sure we do a lot of fun things together to help me through the break-up.

‘Plenty of fish in the sea.’

I don’t like diving.

‘Welcome to the singles club!’

Where can I unsubscribe from this?

‘You don’t have to shave your legs/bikini line every week anymore.’

No, I’ll just let a rainforest grow. #foreveralone

‘Then it wasn’t meant to be.’

Nice, that well-meaning advice, but just not three hours after I’ve been dumped.

‘You really need to download Tinder and stuff.’

Because you really get happy from all the men you meet there… Yikes.
Besides, being single is really fun.