How I am going to take down the advertising bird at Expedition Robinson
Ask me what I've been thinking about the most in the last three days and I'll tell you right away: my registration for experienced Expedition Robinson. Goddamn, how can a person have such an obsessive passion for a program, it's impossible.
As the chairperson of political party #GetKikiToTheIsland, I can say that the situation so far is not that bad at all. But friends, I still need your help to even get to the casting weekend. Haven't you voted yet? You can DO IT HERE (do it, okay? And if you have multiple email addresses, just do it multiple times). I promise I'll do everything in my power to make that damn advertising bird (you know, that damn creature that even has its own Twitter account ) sing a different tune. Because if you say A, you also have to say B. And so it was time for a plan. In the interest of us all.
Step 1: The casting weekend
To be invited for that, I MUST stay in the top 50. Oh oh oh, it's already going to be laughing, screaming, and roaring, I can tell you. Of course, I'm going to film everything, duh.
Step 2: And then getting chosen...
Well, let's leave that to fate. A hundred people, four chosen ones. I guess my chances are about four percent. Four percent, let's stick to the bright side: that's about a trillion times bigger than winning the lottery.
Step 3: Gathering information
Then it's time to call the royal couple be Bertie. & (Va)JayJay. They have seen from both the base camp and the elimination island from which side that damn creature most often comes flying.
Step 4: Sneaking stilettoes + sambal badjak onto the plane
More on that later.
Birdie on top, sambal on it, and Kees is ready. Or Kiek.
Step 5: Figuring out how to give a bird, uh, bird flu
Oh shit, then we can't eat it, of course. Okay, skip step 5.
Step 6: Observe, observe, observe
This is going to be a matter of patience. The plan is to wait until almost the merging. It helps that the winged rascal is not very unpredictable with its appearances. #Ietsmetnétvoordereclame #Eeneanhardelokroep
Step 7: Lure
I've already taken a fishing course at home (a person has to prepare somehow). On the island, I'll catch some little fish, lay them out in a heart shape on the beach, and wait for the advertisement...
Step 8: Strike
Yes, and now it's over, you know. I'm freaking hungry and it's all taking too long with that creature. The moment it comes flying in, I throw the stiletto into the air with a bang. I think this is a nice specimen. BAM.
Step 9: The merging dinner
I score POINTS with my fellow islanders. Wok pan on (No Go-Tan this year, no, delicious with sambal badjak then). Birdie on top, sambal on it, and Kees is ready. Or Kiek.
So, do we want more or less bird?
What do you say? No, exactly. I thought so.
P.S.: for the link-michels who have continued reading and haven't voted yet: just do it, okay? We like that. We can have weekly Ex Rob parties here at the office and invite all of you and stuff. And eat frozen advertising bird legs in the marinade. SO EXCITED. #EhSorryVogelBescherming. #Burp. here. Ask me what I've been thinking about the most in the last three days and I'll tell you right away: my registration for Expeditie Robinson...
