I stepped into the gym for the first time in years
And this is what I thought
Did you know the story of Kiek who went to work out? Who was hanging at the fitness machines at Fit For Free, sweating, panting, puffing, and groaning? I can tell you: I’m still going strong, hoping to finally murder those summer pounds. Because yes, in the past few months I’ve gone loco again regarding the food fest, and those trips to America and Lisbon have also added some nice fat. So it was time to drag myself to the gym.
Why FFF? I still don’t really have a fixed place where I spend most of my time. I commute back and forth between Utrecht and Amsterdam and spend the weekends with the boy in Gelderland. And with an FFF pass, you can work out at any location in the Netherlands, and there’s always one nearby. Pretty handy. Besides, they live up to their name, because it doesn’t cost a dime. No more ostrich practices, the time is NOW.
What I keep repeating as a mantra in my head? ‘Laziness is one of the seven sins, Kiek, and summer bodies are built in the winter. And yes, that winter is coming. And fast. So this is the perfect time to start and achieve goals. Bet that in three months you’ll be proud of yourself?’ So off I went again this weekend. Armed with a sports bag under my arms and a water bottle in hand. Time to take that gym by storm. To kill those muffin tops.
And this is roughly what I thought…
- Opens the door of the Fit For Free location in Utrecht: ‘I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Britney survived 2007 (bald phase), you can handle today.’
- So, this is where they left all the people. I’m clearly not the only one with good intentions. They look like robots. How many calories are being burned here at the same time? And WHY do I feel like a Danerolles croissant in these workout leggings?
- Is this Fashion Week or the gym? It’s clear: I need to buy a hipper outfit. Everyone is looking gooooood.
- Alright, no more talking, let’s get to work. Where do we start: a bit of cardio? Boxing? The I’m-pretending-to-be-a-stepper machine? Give it another three weeks. Then you’ll be here bench pressing like King Kong like never before.
- Speaking of King Kong: that guy over there on the right looks photoshopped. Am I secretly in a video game?
- Moving on to that chick on the left. WHOAH, her butt. I want that too. Okay, that’s it, from now on I’m going three times a week.
- Endorphins, are you coming? Welcome, more than!
- Why can she run for a quarter of an hour straight on the treadmill?
- And does that man really have to choose that machine right next to me? That personal trainer over there in the corner should come over here by the way. There are actually quite a few handsome men here.
- Confession: I’ve been here for more than twenty minutes and I’m still alive. And no one is looking at me weirdly, and it’s completely normal that I’m here.
- Could I have already lost weight?
- Oh god, lovely, I see two sweaty people flirting with each other. What a gym is good for.
- Working out is clearly a social thing. People are hanging out, cycling, boxing, chatting, laughing. I need a workout buddy. Anyone?
- If I keep this up, in two months I’ll really have the body of a Victoria’s Secret Angel. I can feel it.
- HAAAA, and here come the endorphins finally visiting. Welcome! Coffee, tea? Cookies, chips?
- Seriously, can I have chips already? (Just kidding guys, just kidding...)
- I’m going to whip up a gooooooood meal salad tonight. Still need to do some grocery shopping. Am I seriously thinking about eating healthy now? #LEKKERDAN.
- At the end of the workout: my goodness, I’ve been in the gym for an hour and a half. And all joking aside: I feel sexy as hell.
Alright. So far my adventures of this week. That group class in a few days is already scheduled: boxing, spinning, the whole shebang. Ladies, keep your man at home, Kiek the gym terminator is busy.
