THE BIGGEST IRRITATIONS OF HAVING A BANGS

When I turned eighteen, I decided to do ‘something’ with my hair. Three days later, I was sitting in the hairdresser's chair with sweat beads, getting bangs cut. That hair curtain looked totally awful the first few days, but after about a week or two, bangs and I became besties for life. By now, my forehead hasn't seen daylight for about seven years, and honestly? I can't imagine that Mrs. P. and I will part ways anytime soon. The bangs are who I am, and together with my eyeliner, they have become a recognizable feature of my face. And you know, the bangs are also just super handy (especially when your eyebrows are looking a bit off or when you have a huge pimple on your forehead). But sometimes, sometimes those bangs are also a source of major irritations. Here they come:

Everyone wants to see your face without bangs

In fact: your head looks like an attraction. Bangs people get really tired of the ‘I'm curious how you look without them’ person. Watch this video for a moment, and you'll see. Or worse: other people start touching them themselves. Then you get an error in your head, trust me. Especially if your eyebrows haven't been plucked in too long.

Everyone with bangs suddenly looks like your doppelganger

I get tagged on Instagram: “Look Kiki! She looks just like you!” I open the photo and see a woman with bangs. But honestly? That's all we have in common.

No one understands your facial expressions

With bangs, your eyebrows usually disappear. And those are crucial for your facial expressions and emotions. Pensive suddenly looks grumpy, that sultry look is also no longer understood; no way, forget about it.

Wind is your biggest enemy

Driving in a convertible? Seriously, just forget it.

But rain is a bitch too

With rain, you stay home. Or with rain, you take a taxi. If I see even a drop falling from the sky, I call my blue friends from taxi service Abel to take me to the office. Diva? No way. I call that necessary.

DIY haircuts are and remain a drama

So you actually have to go to the hairdresser every three weeks. But you really don't feel like it/time for that, so you do it yourself again. Millimeter by millimeter. And then there are times when you think: aiii, too crooked and too short again. Note to self: never cut right before something important. Never. Do it. Fool.

When you wake up, you're screwed

Quickly throw a #IWokeUpLikeThis photo on Insta? No. Just can't. Because you have no idea how that hair curtain is hanging, and the chance that you look like a half-run-over tuft is pretty big.

Your hair seems to get greasy faster

Which makes you totally not understand others who say they wash their hair ‘once a week’. HOW? I DO IT EVERY DAY. Sometimes in extreme speed, even just the bangs in the sink. That looks pretty loserish, yes.

Vacations are difficult

Because yes, if you want a nice even tan, you have to come up with hairbands and clips and complicated constructions to keep those bangs back. “Look OMG, NO bangs!” You can count on reactions. You are of course super interesting without bangs.

You understand: my bangs are my bestie, but gosh, that thing is sometimes also a curse. And, if I were to be invited to Expeditie Robinson (get me through that casting day, friends; voting can be done here), then I wouldn't have bangs, no. And no eyeliner. And, maybe that's also quite nice when I read that above again...