The right moment does not exist

Monday was double marked in my agenda, in red. I also knew frighteningly precisely how many hours and minutes it was until the date. And then it came and I didn't do it. I just acted as if the idea had never crossed my mind at all. That white package with golden lines and black letters went into my bag and missed the trash can by a hair. And it was a fact. I was officially not quitting smoking again. I had really cut myself in the fingers by announcing my plan at the editorial office. And now I get all these shocked looks my way and hands covering mouths with little screams that sound something like: ‘But you were supposed to have quit smoking?‘ Accusatory tone full of disbelief included.

‘It's all the fault of having too many choices.’

The word is out, that's not me. Because I also had to stop with the pieces of chocolate dipped in caramel-sea salt. And I had to start the financial detox, or not giving in to the impulse when you see a white bag with the coolest patches or think of a glass of white. Moving is also still on the plan and house hunting gives incredibly much stress. I'm not ready for it, this is just an extraordinarily awkward moment. I immediately got a sharp tap on my fingers from Simoon, because according to her, it's never the right moment. And she rubs it in my face since my failure. Moreover; she chants it around the editorial office. The most recent is a piece of text from a plausible source and it's there too. Bold. Confronting. You're not ready is an excuse, because you're never really ready for anything. Simone's free translation is therefore: you just have to do it. And she's right and I'm not. And she also has discipline and I don't. Very awkward all.

But I read in that piece of text that she slid under my nose also immediately why it's so difficult to choose the right moment, aside from the fact that such a thing doesn't exist. Because you and I have so much to choose from, we are extremely deliberate. Yes, I recognize that (aside from my total blackout when I see the latest ripped Levi's in a store ). Because you have something to choose from, you postpone that choice. Ha, so far so good that freedom of choice. It just ensures that I don't throw my pack of cigarettes in the bulk waste. It's all the fault of having too many choices.Okay, maybe all those experts (and Simoon) are right. The right moment doesn't exist, but then I at least know for sure that tomorrow is not the right moment to be the right moment. There.

Monday was double marked in my agenda, in red. I also knew frighteningly precisely how many hours and minutes it was until the date.