THINGS MEN DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN
When my favorite Levi's comes out of the wash, I lay myself horizontally on the bed to pull the thing on (or well, lay, lay…). Take a deep breath, button up, and then a rather bizarre hop movement with the thighs. Voilà, it fits like a charm. I prefer to pull off these kinds of antics when HE is not around. I can still remember his expression when he saw this for the first time: total incomprehension. But really, as if I were completely cuckoo in the head.
I've been living under the same roof as the man for about five years and I've had my fair share of brothers. Well, then you encounter all kinds of misunderstandings from the man about the woman. Like this...
That nail polish comes in three to four layers
The smell of the remover already elicits grand exclamations, but the fact that the polish is applied in three, or even better: four layers, they don't understand. And whether you want to hold the trash bag open for five minutes. Uhm, no? This has a drying time of about three hours, mister, that's no small feat.
Everything that is super tight on the body
Do you also do such a horizontal hop movement and then in the form that makes your man look with his mouth open (in the wrong way)? He is all about comfort, so no matter how good your butt looks in those pants; he doesn't get that you're depriving yourself of all that air. But I also find it a bit sad that they are not fans of ‘mom jeans’ and also don't support baggy jeans.
“So no matter how good your butt looks in those pants: he doesn't get that you're depriving yourself of all that air.”
That something like primer exists
“And what do you put on first?” Try explaining that it primer is hot, because he knows that stuff. Only it comes in a jar at the local hardware store.
Pantyhose
Is not sexy, has never been sexy and will never be sexy. With a dot or stripe he might overlook it, until you leave a clammy print on the laminate floor. And if it were up to him, definitely not in an open shoe. How do you wear that most beautifully? Read here maar even.
That you sometimes just need Corrie in life
Yes, as in: Corrie Correction. They preferably have a skin-colored shade, because they need to remain unseen. It just brings everything under that thin little thing a bit more together and in shape. Tip: you put this on and take it off with the bathroom door locked.
What a pair of boots costs
I made the biggest mistake of my life on Sunday and it was in the form of a pair of Gucci boots. You should know that I've been obsessed with the embellished ankle boots from this fashion house for a few weeks. Those buttons and then that heel and really the perfect model. After a glass of wine, I made the crucial mistake: I showed them but didn't shield the price. He found them breathtaking, and the price too, by the way.
And that it's impossible to shower, cut your hair, and do your makeup in twenty minutes
For some reason, men think you can do all this in thirty minutes. Well, I can't. If you have these kinds of skills, can I take lessons from you?
That a coat sometimes just doesn't work
When you arrive at your destination a thousand percent sure looking like a drowned cat, but you can't manage to combine that sporty raincoat with your buttery soft, brown leather boots. Hello, there should just be a cognac coat with that, liebe leute. Really... No understanding from him.
Source poison: Giphy
