Things you recognize when you've been single for way too long

My life as a single has been going on for almost three years now. So that's almost three long years with a lot of advantages if you ask me. And okay okay, also a number of disadvantages. Now with winter approaching again, this is really the time of year when it is emphasized even more that you are single. I mention Sinterklaas, a Christmas where you don't have a plus one, followed by Valentine's Day… Been single and ready to mingle for a while? Then you definitely recognize all of this:

1. Your third wheel skills are CV-worthy. You have no problem going out with couples. Look, whether they are happy that you are always there is another story.
2. A lot of Netflix, very little chill. You have become an expert when it comes to binging. Alone. The only men that ever appear in that are Ben and Jerry. 
3. Suddenly you find horoscopes super interesting and start reading them daily, hoping for a mention of Prince Charming who will soon appear at your door.
4. You still enjoy ‘Single Ladies’ by Beyoncé when it gets played somewhere again.

5. You cringe at people who keep saying they don't understand why you are single, because ‘you are so nice’. Meh.

6. Your other single friends push you to start using dating apps (if you, like me, have never used them), which is incredibly annoying, and I mean, they haven't managed to score a boyfriend with that either, so why are they promoting that shit?

7. But suppose you are an experienced swiper, then you encounter a familiar face weekly from someone who once appeared on your screen.

8. Oh yes, and it could very well be that you have ever researched freezing your eggs.

9. Your own family has finally stopped asking if there is already a man in your life. They already know the answer.

10. You got a cat.
11. You react super grumpy when a loving couple walks towards you on the sidewalk and refuses to let go of each other's hands, making you walk awkwardly around them.

12. ‘Current relationship status: made dinner for two. Ate both.’ Hello, extra kilos.

13. And the idea that you have to share a bed with someone: the horror. That means you can never lie like an antisocial starfish again.

14. You have built a trilogy of requirements, and well, perhaps that is the reason you will forever sit at the singles table at weddings...