This is how you become happy

You can actually learn to be happy. It seems too good to be true, but it is really true, my friend. It is not difficult at all; rather, the search for and engagement with happiness makes you happy. And because I naturally wish you all the happiness in the world, I want to take on a challenge with you. By doing something small every day that makes you happy, happiness will eventually become the most normal thing in the world. Happiness is a mixture of contentment, peace of mind, security, and self-confidence. We feel joy from a purchase, but also from helping another. If you know what happiness means to you, you can come to your own definition of happiness. It is up to you what you will undertake next to shape those things that make you feel more happiness into your daily routine. I'll give you a little push. Will you do the rest?

1. Go social

That little chat on Saturday morning with my flower friend makes my heart leap every time. Sniffing among the fresh flowers, listening to her cheerful stories about her clever twins, my complaints about my once again failed date the night before… She is a complete stranger, and yet we know each other. And the fact that I get a big smile from that is not so strange at all. It has been proven that social contact makes you happy. And they don't have to be deep conversations at all; just a little chat does a lot. Just reaching out a hand to that old lady at the grocery store to help her fill her shopping cart. A small gesture but so valuable. Try it once. The more often you do it, the easier it becomes.

I'll give you a little push. Will you do the rest?

2. Say yes, but also definitely say no once in a while

Recently, I read the book ‘A Year of Yes’ by Shonda Rhimes, in which she intended to say yes to everything for a year. Shonda, an introverted person with regular panic attacks, had a habit of canceling interviews and important appointments. Instead, she stayed safely at home with her children. She took on the challenge and said yes to everything for a year! I recognized myself so much in that that I started trying it myself. Saying yes more often to things that make me anxious. But saying no is just as important if you want to protect your own well-being. Try to say no at least once a day to something you know is not good for you. No to worrying, no to that cigarette, and no to that date you actually don't feel like going on.

3. Aim for good enough

‘Simoon, darling, please don't be so critical. You'll never get a man that way.’ And my mother is right again. Because as you know, I lose interest if date material is wearing a checkered short-sleeve shirt or makes a spelling mistake in a text for the third time in five minutes. So yes, this point is one that I definitely need to work on. Research shows that satisficers are happier than maximizers. Satisficers go for good enough. Maximizers seek perfection, which quickly leads to a restless feeling because it can always be better. Looking for a nice leather jacket? Think of three criteria (price, fit, color) and go for the first jacket that meets those criteria. That will be a challenge for Ms. Perfectionist…