THIS IS WHAT YOUR VAGINA LOOKS LIKE

And that is completely normal

Recently, someone confessed to me that she had undergone labiaplasty. ‘Oh really?’ was my response, while I pretended that I had these kinds of conversations every day. ‘Uhm..., what did they look like before?‘ According to her, her lips peeked out a bit and she didn't find that very pretty. Especially not now that she had to re-enter the dating market after her divorce. ’But how bad was it then?’ I asked, thinking about my own bottom. I won't go into detail about that, but I once wrote this scene in Hemelen:

A feeling of disgust flowed through her. Was this her pussy? Those grayish meat flaps where a clitoris peeked out like a lost gnome? Her anus also looked significantly different from those of the girls in the porn films she had seen. The color of her skin resembled that of an oxidized steak. An indeterminate brown-gray pigment.

She quickly removed the mirror and sat there for a moment, blankly. Then she put on her clothes and went to clean the windows like a madwoman.

Of course, she asked Ruben fairly quickly, once she had recovered from the initial shock, what he thought of her vagina. He said: ‘Just fine.’ She pressed further. What did other vaginas look like, were her labia larger or smaller than average, and especially what color did those other pussies have?

Ruben assured her that she had a very average vagina, and when he saw that the worry on her face had not diminished, he added that her vagina was even nice, and that there was nothing to worry about. But Lot had seen what she had seen.

Continuing the conversation. Well, they had indeed been quite visible. ‘But how much then?’ I asked. It turned out to be about one and a half centimeters of low-hanging flesh. For this one and a half centimeters, this poor woman had let someone cut into her dear little pussy and suffered pain for weeks. And now, six months later, the scars were still visible. And why? I assume that before the procedure, no one had ever run away screaming after seeing her vagina. And if that had been the case, then that man was an absolute jerk and deserves a ban from all women as far as I'm concerned.

I have the impression that women set far too high standards for the appearance of their bottom. This brings me to the next point: do we actually know what a normal pussy looks like?

‘Uhm..., what did they look like before?‘

Because I have a limited frame of reference myself (although I regularly go to the sauna and can already tell from that that one and a half centimeters of labia is really very normal), I reached out to a professional vagina observer: a gynecologist.

She told me that of all the boxes she sees on an annual basis – and that quickly amounts to about two thousand – she might only look up once because the vagina in question is very special. So let's start by establishing that the chance that your vagina is really weird is very small. ‘Just like ears,’ she said, ‘you have vaginas in all shapes and sizes. There is more normal than you think.’

Furthermore, she informed me that most vaginas are not pink in color, but grayish. I know, in porn films everyone has a ‘refined’ pink vagina and that can really mislead you. But just as normal women shouldn't compare themselves to top models, we should stop comparing our dear little pussy to those of porn actresses who are usually just eighteen and often use bleaching.

Then the lips. Some labia hang a bit further out than others. Some are up to five centimeters long. Some are a bit wrinkled. Some are smooth and pink (but often not). Labia come in all shapes and sizes, so can we please stop being ashamed of them?

Dear friends, your pussy doesn't have to be beautiful. If it looks like an exploded turkey, that's perfectly normal. The only thing standing in the way of having a great sex life is your own insecurities and unrealistic expectations. Really, the more you worry about your bottom appearance, the less you can surrender to the mojo. We are already busy enough with mani/pedis, the perfect eyebrow, and shapewear. Can we just leave our vagina alone?