What to do if you don't have a gift and he does
Last week I already mentioned how awkward it is when you receive Christmas a gift in your hands that you really are not happy with.
But I don't know what is worse, because how uncomfortable is it when you receive something from someone for whom you have nothing? Do you stand there with your mouth full of teeth? Your mind quickly searches for an excuse to survive the situation, because what is the most appropriate response in such a case? Social psychologist Susan Newman explains to Huffington Post what social etiquette prescribes.
Do you say that you left the present on the table at home? Or is ‘what a nice surprise’ with a scream and a jump a better solution? In both cases, you would rather dig a hole than do anything else.
But the fact that you are not the only one who finds themselves in these kinds of situations is a fact. The psychologist herself recounts: “It happened to me once when I was celebrating Christmas with a friend's family. Her mother unexpectedly handed me a gift. I didn't see it coming and was utterly embarrassed that I couldn't give anything back. Instead of making up a lie, I said: ‘I didn't know we would be exchanging gifts. I'm sorry that I have nothing for you, but this gift is amazing. Thank you!’”
According to Newman, more than honesty is not expected of you. With a weak excuse, or worse: a big lie, you only dig yourself deeper into the pit of shame. “Don't start making excuses and definitely don't pretend you forgot the gift at home. That is outright lying to someone's face. Moreover, you will feel just as guilty, angry, or ashamed if you really have no gift for the person in question. You are pressured by what you think is correct social etiquette, but it is just lying, which you are not supposed to do.”
Etiquette specialist Diane Gottsman adds: “People are so excited when they can express their love, support, or appreciation with a gift. So instead of getting upset about that nice (but totally unexpected) gift, you better focus on showing your sincere gratitude.” “Respond with the same enthusiasm as that of the person from whom you receive your package. Smile, make direct eye contact, show genuine appreciation, and thank the person for the lovely gift. You can decide later whether you want to give the giver a gift, but that is not an obligation,” concludes Gottsman.
Better safe than sorry? Then make sure your gift closet (just like mine, OCD queen to the max) is filled and that there is something in your bag, just in case. Gift cards always do well and take up hardly any space.
You have a few days to practice in the mirror. Or to grab another gift. And then don't leave it on the table, okay?
