Why winning the lottery is a crazy bad idea for me

This week's topic of conversation: winning ten thousand euros net. Every, every month, for the rest of your life. Or at least for the next thirty years. Apparently, it can happen in the Netherlands. Suddenly, I can't think clearly anymore. Ten thousand euros net without having to do anything else for it. My goodness, that's a lot of money. Although I fear that you'll blow through that little amount if you're not careful. Hmmm, time for an inventory, should it ever be the case.

What the wise Kiki should do:

1. Save. At least half of the ten can go straight to the savings account. I mean, we're still talking about a very generous salary. Come on, five thousand euros. That's fine too.

2. Buy a car. Maybe then I'll finally get rid of that ridiculous fear of driving.

3. Buy a new laptop. Considering this industry is not very unimportant and I am very much in need of a new typing machine.

4. Hire a good financial advisor to invest the rest of the money, making the interest something pleasant as well.

5. Support at least three good causes.

6. Absolutely not stop working, but maybe go one day less.

7. Use that day immediately to work out with my -duh- personal trainer.

8. Do something intensely fun with the people I care about. A nice trip.

What the real Kiki is going to do:

1. Something with a bag. And Chanel.

2. Chill every weekend with Lil Kleine and rent a standard room in the AMC for my alcohol poisoning.

3. Start every day with a ridiculously expensive Starbucks cup. With diamonds.

4. Set up a subscription that delivers red velvet cake from De Drie Graefjes in Amsterdam and Verkade Digestive chocolate cookies whenever I have my period.

5. That little extra fat? Let's just suck it away, everything is for sale.

6. Or maybe better: buy an island in the Philippines and reenact Expeditie Robinson once a year with some friends and come back super thin. Yes, better.

7. A car? I hire a private taxi driver who drives me around everywhere.

8. Start a cat daycare with spa facilities. Just because it's fun.

9. Have a helicopter pad built on the roof of Amayzine headquarters. Just in case I want to leave in style at the end of the day.

What? Too much to ask? You thought it. I said it.