4x why you didn't freeze your egg

Recently, I read a beautiful interview with Candy Dulfer in Volkskrant Magazine. About life. About love. And about how she deeply regretted not freezing her eggs. But this, dear Candy, is why you are not alone in this. Because social freezing is not an easy ride.

You only want it when it's too late

Are you 26 and still single, with fresh eggs in hand, then you certainly don't think right away: gosh, guys, let me freeze some eggs. Of course not. That man is going to come. And that child too. You only start googling for options when that little one hasn’t come to you yet. And that man, by the way, hasn’t shown up either. That usually happens at the end of your third decade. And by then, those eggs are no longer so fresh.

It's expensive

You should think of at least €4000 per treatment. And because success is certainly not guaranteed, you are advised to freeze multiple eggs, and suddenly the bill is at €8000. You can do a lot of fun things with that when you are young and vibrant.

It's a hassle

Social freezing sounds really nice, as if you’re holding a Hendrick’s-Fever Tree and a slice of cucumber, throwing your legs up in the air while a charming doctor extracts a few eggs from you. Too bad. You first have to inject hormones into your body (yes, in your belly, yes) and those hormones make you labile, moody, and maybe even fat. All worth it in the name of love for your child, but I can imagine that at 28 you think: I’ll pass for now.

Success is not guaranteed

There has been little research done. ‘Normal’ IVF attempts don’t all succeed either. How big the chance is of a fertilized egg that was first frozen and then thawed; you just don’t know.

Moral: there isn’t one. I’m not going to tell anyone what to do. I assume everyone has very good and valid reasons for their choices. The only thing I want to say is that you shouldn’t feel guilty if you haven’t done it. You were busy doing other things. Like looking for that nice man, for example. Where are they anyway? Let’s have a good talk about that next time.