Amayzine

6x what you need to know about loneliness

I've been looking forward to it all day. Soon I'm going to sit somewhere. In a nice café or a cozy hotel bar. With my laptop. And a glass of wine. No one else. I wouldn't have dared to do that before. What would they think? That I was alone? And therefore sad? I wasn't going to do that. Now I find an hour, or an evening, alone a great good. Because loneliness is something that resides within you and is not dependent on who is sitting next to you.

Loneliness does not come from social media

That's what is said. That we see all those fantastic highlights of others while you yourself click ‘OK’ in your sweatpants when Netflix asks if you still want to continue watching Grace & Frankie. But what turns out? The number of cases of loneliness has not increased in recent years, so there is no correlation between social media and loneliness. On the contrary, WhatsApp and Facebook have made it easier for many older people to stay connected with their family and thus feel less lonely.

You can also be lonely and not alone

I have spent Christmas alone once. My parents and brother were abroad and I didn't dare to knock on anyone's door. I just pretended it was two Sundays and I had spent those alone too. I cooked something nice, lit candles, and planned chores that I normally never had time for. Tidying up cabinets, making photo albums; wonderful. If you feel out of place in a company, your feeling of loneliness can be much greater than when you are on your own. I remember doing an internship in Singapore and being invited by a Malaysian host family to celebrate New Year's Eve. Intensely sweet, but everything was so different from home that I felt, despite their warmth, intensely alone and lonely.

Loneliness is not dependent on a certain age

I personally experienced my twenties as the loneliest. Now I crave a moment for myself. But that varies for everyone. Still, you can say that young people and older people feel the loneliest.

Being alone as medicine

If you suffer from loneliness, you are actually advised to be alone. Have fun with yourself first and make sure you don't need others to fill that gap.

This is how you combat loneliness

Make sure your house stays tidy and that you dress a little nicely. If that also becomes a mess, you will feel bad about it again and before you know it, you are a dirty, lonely slob. Ensure movement and fresh air and do tangible chores. Paint a wall, change your house, have photos printed and put them in frames. Cook something delicious and invite someone over. All concrete things that give you a sense of fulfillment.

We don't have it that hard yet

If you really feel lonely, just remember that it is much less in Western Europe than in Eastern Europe. And you know, fake smiling also makes you happier. Your brain thinks; hey, the corners of the mouth are up so she must be happy. And then you suddenly start laughing for real. That's how it works.