7 things you think when you fly with Ryanair

For example: Never again

We are quite the Puglia-goers and when you fly to Southern Italy, you don't have much choice. It's either Transavia or KLM (but then you have to transfer in Milan or Rome), or Ryanair. And every time my flight ends with the sentence: “We are not doing this again.” Between takeoff and this conclusion, there are a few other musings.

The tables

It's already a miracle if you can open them, but then they sag down towards your lap. They don't sit neatly in a horizontal position, but tip over so that everything you order (if you manage to order something) spills into your lap.

The seats

I'm not really big, but if I can't move, how does it work if you're 1.95 meters tall and weigh 100 kilos? How does a person do that?

No baggage pockets

Why are there none? I understand that they can clean faster this way, but it's so freaking inconvenient that you can't just put something down. Especially since your water bottle tips over onto that rickety little table and spills into your lap.

The seatbelt sign

Maybe you haven't noticed, but during every Ryanair flight, the seatbelt sign goes on at least twice and you're sent back to your seat when you walk through the plane while there isn't a hint of turbulence. Why, people, why?

Your receipt

You can find that online under your flight and seat number. Super handy guys, but really.

Those tickets

Does anyone ever buy those? And in the case of yes, does anyone ever win anything? And in the case of two yeses, what do you win?

The staff

I've been told that Ryanair makes three billion in profit per year. So why not pay the staff a little more? And while you're at it, maybe screw those tables in place. Who knows, I might stay on board.

By the way, these are the worst types to go on vacation with.