“Select all boxes with buses, cars, or traffic lights”

My CU2 site, yes I come from the generation that knows basic HTML because this was the only way to do anything online, was secured with xxxadeline. That was possible, that was allowed, your password had no numbers, letters or capitals. Hackers didn't exist, because there was actually very little to hack.

After kisses and first names followed the name and the year of birth as a privacy check, when that was no longer enough we obediently added the number ‘1’ behind it. And now we are so flipped that we let ourselves be secured by algorithms and codes that Apple invents, because gentlemen, then it must be alright, right?! No, no, no. Even then we are not supersonically secured enough. The chess club uses two-factor authentication, at the club of united neighbor ladies you get a check via SMS and recently there are buses. And boats. And traffic lights. And cars.

The situation. You want to log in quickly, because that cute pair of pants is now available with a forty percent discount, but there is only one left. Haste is required. You rattle your password into the input box and suddenly a window pops up. With something that looks like tic-tac-toe boxes or a good old game of memory. In those boxes are boats or cars or traffic lights or bicycles, yes. Or you want to quickly tap which pictures boat-traffic light-car-bus are present to check if you are not a robot. Skillfully you click on the relevant objects which is usually not too difficult, unlike deciphering floating letters and numbers, to prove that they have flesh and blood in the cockpit. You click on ‘next’ and again the website wants to know if you are the real deal. Clickety-click, just check the cars, ‘next’. The automated tool of the site is not convinced, not by a long shot, and goes from boat to traffic light back to bus and on to the car. Until you go completely loco. Talking to your screen. Considering throwing your laptop out the window. Doubting whether you actually saw the bus-car-traffic light-boat. And clicking through the red box after box after box.

Your password was created by a robot, you are trying to log in to a digital event, the tool that pops up in front of you is computerized. And they all doubt your humanity... Yes. Until the digital front finally has enough proof to let you in. And the pants are sold out.