An ode to De Speld
At the office, we tag each other pretty much all day in everything we find funny. Cat videos, anything related to cheese, and regularly flies by. De Speld Imagine working at the satirical site. With news that is always funnier than reality. A perfect site for a silly or grumpy mood. In the mood for a round of laughter? Here are our favorites du moment.
1. The fundraising campaign for René Froger (HAHAHA)
Dutch people have started a fundraising campaign for a laser treatment for René Froger. They want to prevent the singer from going to Eyelove more often for multifocal sunglasses. “He haunts me in my dreams,” says 32-year-old Jeffrey from Gouda. When he heard about the fundraising campaign, he immediately transferred 3200 euros. “It's a whole month's salary plus vacation pay, but it's well spent. We'll go to Spain again next year.” 50-year-old Annebet from Zaanstad also didn't hesitate for a moment. “I canceled my Greenpeace subscription and will now transfer a monthly amount to René Froger. Hopefully, he will have enough money for an expensive treatment. It has to be done right the first time. We better not take any risks.”
2. It's hot: keep your cats wet!
Cat owners beware: it's incredibly hot these days. This means that dehydration is lurking for your pet. So it's important to ensure enough water to keep your cat wet. It is recommended to use a garden hose for this. With it, you can also ensure sufficient moisture supply from a distance. If you really love your cat, arrange a water bowl where you can put him in.
3. Last names that would have existed if the last name had only been introduced in 2018
- Mohammed Drone
- Jordi Yordi Jordy
- Rico Pretty Fly For a WiFi
- Femke Famke Louise
- Daniel Senioraccountmanagerszoon
- Annechien Vlogger
- Tara Zoutelande
- Xess Xava Bitcoinrage
- Melanie #mood
- Levi Stef-Stuntpiloot
4. Things happening in, probably, Egypt
The situation in a country somewhere has recently changed. Sources report this. The circumstances are such. A leader has called his supporters to action somewhere. International journalists are currently investigating whether it concerns Egypt. A situation has arisen in various places, possibly in response to the events. Whether it concerns demonstrations or expressions of support could not yet be determined at the time of going to press for this newspaper. Other options are also not ruled out for now. An international commentator has said he is concerned. ‘Where things happen, it can easily get out of hand. History shows that.’ Local reporters are less pessimistic. ‘Just because something is happening doesn’t mean there is actually something going on.’
5. Mosquito honestly can't sleep if Remco is lying in the room all the time
Remco can hardly get to sleep because there is a mosquito buzzing by his ear all the time. And that feeling is completely mutual. “I’m really going completely crazy at the thought that there’s a guy lying on the bed somewhere in this room,” admits the mosquito. “Even if he’s quiet, I just know he’s there. That thought just won’t leave me, and then I can forget about sleep, of course.”
6. Want to lose weight quickly? Amputate a leg!
People who want to lose ten kilos quickly before summer are increasingly opting for leg amputation. The revolutionary weight loss method is expensive, but quick and effective. 28-year-old Angela made early use of the method, and she is very satisfied. “Nowadays, you get bombarded with expensive diets. It's a lot of hassle and requires a lot of discipline; with a leg amputation, you’re just done with the hassle in one go,” says Angela, who decided to have her right leg amputated after years of conscious eating and intensive exercising. According to her, the biggest advantage is the immediate result. “That running, I just got really tired from it. You run yourself into the ground, and only after months do you see results. After the amputation, I immediately weighed twelve kilos less, which is much more satisfying.”
Employees of De Speld, you are heroes. May I come for an internship day? I foresee a grand match.
