Arguing couples are 10 times more likely to stay together

If my friend calls me three times in a row, it can only mean one thing: the house has burned down. Or it's still on fire.

In slight panic, I call back. He answers. ‘WHAT'S WRONG?!’ I shout immediately, thinking about where we are going to live now, without a roof over our heads. But no, the house is not on fire. Let me think. Quickly, have I forgotten something important? Did we win the lottery? Did our sterilized cat have kittens? Did our dead plant come back to life? No. It's even more surprising than that. He says he can pick me up with the car from my work. Spontaneously. Just like that. If I want. Why? Because it's raining.

Well, in the roughly eleven years that I've known him, such a question has truly never been asked. And certainly not over the phone, because we are more of a couple of the app. Or emails, we do well with those nowadays, now that we are planning a wedding. So, whether I want to be picked up by car. I don't know how to respond, and I just say that the rain shower isn't that bad and that I'll just bike. It's only twenty minutes, you know. No, really not necessary, to then come home like a drenched mop with a phone that needs to be dried on the heater right away.

I realize: it is too sweet. It's time for some commotion. We need a bit of a fight, and quickly too. Because according to science, couples who argue have about ten times more chance of staying together forever. It's quite logical: every now and then, some steam needs to be let off that kettle. And precisely people who do not communicate with each other, who keep everything to themselves, break up faster. It's best to argue and tell everything that bothers you. Love is based on honesty. And always calling each other darling this and darling that and nice weather and warm weather doesn't work. At least, not in the long term.

Okay, a fight, then. Quickly, think of something. Say something about his unwashed hair. Say something about him not exercising today while he said he would. Say something about his cooking skills, that he always uses your day cream, that he needs to say when he uses the last bit of laundry detergent... I say nothing. Well, it just doesn't want to happen. Pfff. I just sit down on the couch next to him and snuggle up to him. Now let's hope that a big fight comes along spontaneously soon. It's hard work, these relationships nowadays.

FACTS

• On average, we argue 312 times a year with our partner
• In the first five years of the relationship, couples have the most intense disagreements
• ‘Did you seriously buy a jacket again?’ We often bicker about money in our love life