Carnival for Dummies

Just four more nights to sleep (officially actually five) and then I can. Together with loved ones, friends, and family, I will start celebrating Carnival. I've been doing this for about twelve years, so I've mastered the tricks of partying. I don't want to withhold this from you, so take advantage of it if you're going for the first time.

Toilet matters

First things first. Visiting the toilet is a basic need and can take grand forms. Therefore, determine a strategy. In the city where I celebrate, I have a central base where a charming toilet attendant keeps things clean. I stop by at least three times an evening. But sometimes you don't get lucky with the facilities and have to wait a quarter of an hour to relieve yourself. So go on time but not too fast, because then you'll be going the whole evening. Also, always make sure to have paper tissues in your bag, due to the lack of toilet paper in many restrooms. It's nice for yourself, but you'll also make a lot of friends.

Wear red

On day three, the only natural color you probably still have is a red nose because you've caught a cold. Before you leave home, there's still some makeup to be done, but when you're out, lipstick is the lifesaver. It adds some color to your face and in case of emergency, it also works well as color on your cheeks (just make sure to blend that dot well). It helps if someone gets the bright idea to take a photo, because then at least you don't look like Casper the ghost.

Eat well

But never too much. It's wise to be spotted as little as possible at the local snack bar, because you really won't stay fit from that. A stamppot or other Dutch dish is perfectly fine. Just make sure you don't pile on too much, because feeling full is uncomfortable. In moderation.

Drink plenty

And I'm not talking about beer or other alcoholic snacks, but about water. Make sure to give your body fluids from time to time. The day before, the day after, in between... A glass of milk before you leave is gentle on the stomach, so if it acts up quickly, that's actually a recommendation.

Stay warm

It's going to be a cold carnival, so you're off to Hema for thermal gear. Long underwear, shirts, socks; everything. It all still looks quite decent there and it saves you a coat. Once you're in the outfit and ready to go, you'll be less freezing along the parade.

Discover your place

Do thorough research in advance about the place where you're going to celebrate Carnival. In Limburg, it tends to be exuberantly chic, in Breda it's wise to dress up as Maya the Bee, and in Bergen op Zoom, not at all, because they do it traditionally. Nothing is more embarrassing than completely missing the mark. So basically, just like any other party: be thorough in your research.

Sturdy shoes

Sounds anything but sexy, but it's a huge pleasure it brings. Leave those heels at home, ankle boots or other sturdy shoes are what you want.

Smile

First of all, you're a friendlier person when you smile, and people automatically find you friendlier, that's what Carnival is about. But for women, it's also a means of pressure to move more easily through a crowded bar where you're squeezed under armpits. Just tap someone and when they turn around with a sigh, smile very broadly. It works. Always. Or well, maybe a little less with other women, but you can at least give it a try.