Dingdong

Your weekly gossip review

I had so much fun going through the Story with you last week that I crowned it as a little column. A famous friend gave me a reprimand because writing about gossip magazines is like recreationally snorting coke: you can keep it all going, I'm aware of that. But if you had to give every celeb that the gossip magazines exploit a Chanel bag, you'd be broke, you know. And it's not nearly as bad as in England or America with our gossip magazines, and let's be honest: sometimes it's just nice. Especially during the holidays.

Anyway. I'm getting started. You don't have to fold your gossip magazines into Vogue. Just read Amayzine and you're up to date.

1. André Hazes junior and his Monique have broken up

Okay, so I watched his real-life soap for the first time yesterday and now I hear this. He has moved into a million-euro villa on the Vecht. He has left the trailer park of Monique's family. Yes, that's what it says. The trailer park. Reality is even better than I could have imagined. I also read that Monique is forty. Well, I admit: she looks good. What I also enjoy is that his new home is described. That it covers 474 square meters, has five bedrooms and three bathrooms, and a hyper-modern high-gloss kitchen. Yes, high-gloss.

2. Naomi van As is said to be pregnant

We all fell for it when Sven Kramer said during the Olympics that his belly movement did not indicate a pregnancy at all. Way too naive.

3. Ad Visser

Yes, yes, you thought he was polishing his Marconi Award next to Frits Spits in the nursing home, but he was actually on a terrace in Amsterdam. With his wife. Admittedly: we couldn't have thought of a better wife for him. She's a sort of, well, what should I say, mix between the Zangeres Zonder Naam, Imelda Marcos, Rachel Hazes, and Cruella de Vil. Ad himself seems to be a rather unremarkable person next to her. And that's impressive, dear people.

4. Yes indeed

In the category ‘I'm naive’, Story has a good story with Erik de Zwart. Not that he's defending Dotan, but he does say that many artists manipulate things. That postcards from ‘fans’ were sent to radio DJs with request numbers long ago. And that Jan Smit, for example, bought back 25,000 of his own records, kept them until he got the gold record, and then returned them. But by then, that record was already in. Gordon is said to have bought himself to the number 1 position twice. “If he cried over his number 1, he was mainly crying over the money it cost him,” Erik said. If Gordon writes another new book, I suspect Erik de Zwart will definitely get a role in it.

5. And who are you?

I also had no idea who Rafaëlla Paton is (still don't, by the way), but she's back with her ex. Ah, I see it. She's the Idols winner from two hundred years ago.

6. Delicious

Also something like this: peeking inside famous Americans' homes. This time a report on Marc Anthony (you know, one of Jennifer Lopez's sixteen exes) and I can't help but laugh at the decor. What bad taste. Just delightful.

7. Luckily Máxima has that too

Willem-Alexander has been king for five years, so naturally, an overview of his first five years. And a photo of Queen Máxima on the day of the inauguration and the princesses in blue dresses with camel-colored capes. All matchy matchy. Máxima can't manage that anymore either, just like I can't. Suddenly you're walking with three totally different daughters who have dressed themselves. They develop their own taste. It should be banned.

8. The star quartet is here to stay

Yes, it's back: the star quartet. Cut it out and join in!

9. The football ladies

In the category exactly-how-you-want-them, Story presents us with four football wives again. Winonah de Jong shining with body oil in a swimsuit on the tennis court (you do that too, right?), Magali Gorré dangling over a fresh Chanel purchase, and Doina, Stefan de Vrij's wife, next to her chihuahua on the beach.

10. And oh yes

Paul van Vliet has no freezer.

11. I'm not reading this

Something about the special bond Beatrix had with Ruud Lubbers. I believe I don't want to know.

12. Ton van Royen breaks up with Thai mistress

I don't know, but I think it's all getting a bit messy, I believe.

13. Just a little more

About Annemarie Jung's outfit at The Color Purple. I see a skin-colored ensemble with a huge cutout at the belly. And if you go to the gym six times a week, I understand that you want to flash. But, out of love for my colleague women, I'll just stay silent about hat, necklace, stockings, and sandals. Let's just say her stylist mixed up two dress codes. And oh yes, Ron Brandsteder has a son who fell from a wall and his arm got paralyzed. Really sad (not cynical). And Martijn Krabbé is said to have found a new love. I wish him well.

Next week I'll be in Italy, but if I can get my hands on a Story, I'll share it with you. Tschüss.