Everything you think while binge-watching

Actually, I had to clean up. The house was a complete mess. Change the litter box, give the dishwasher and washing machine a spin. Call my accountant. But what did I do? I binge-watched the entire season of Definitely a great series, of course, but I am mainly referring to the last season: the trial of Taystee in which she is accused of murder — which she did not commit. As much as I enjoy this series, it was terribly frustrating to watch. clapping through it, in a sort of zombie-like ecstasy. This is what was going through my mind.

1. So. Looking forward to. Piper. Alex. Red. Tasha. Nicky. Cindy. Suzanne. Just lounging and bring on episode 1 season 6.

2. The animals, the animals. Trapped, trapped, trapped ’till the cage is full. The cage is fúúull… I just love this intro.

3. It seems that they used real incarcerated women for the intro. What would that one with the lip piercing have done? And the one with the tattoo on her lip?

4. I’m hungry. But too lazy to get something.

5. Okay, just one more episode then.

6. ‘And yooooou’ve got tihiiiiime.’ And three octaves higher: ‘AND YOUUU’VE GOT TIIIHIIMEE.’

7. I’ll just grab some chips. Do we have a dip? Guacamole or something? Is there also an Oreo delivery service? *Stumbles off the couch.

8. *Skips intro, presses ‘yes’. Enough singing for now.

9. Notification on TV: ‘Are you sure you’re still watching?’ YEAHAAAAA!

10. Because of that damn notification, I suddenly think of that pile of laundry. Don’t do it, Kiek, don’t do it. First see if it continues...

11. How long would it take for a person to get bedsores?

12. *Googles bedsores.

13. *Skips intro again.

14. Neglecting yourself: okay, but that cat really needs to eat now, this is pure animal abuse.

15. *Skips intro again.

16. ‘Are you sure you’re still watching?’ GO AWAY, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

17. I’m officially spending a whole workday in front of the TV.

18. It’s getting dark outside. Maybe I should make something for dinner besides chips.

19. I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed that I watched an entire season in one Sunday.

20. The worst part is that now you have to wait longer than a YEAR again. Who comes up with this kind of sadistic shit?

So guys, what are we going to binge next week? Something from this list? And yooooou’ve got tihiiiiime…