Hey Geer, don't be so gross

The first thing I read this morning is how many people Gerard Joling has been fooling around with. I can tell you: I really don’t want to read this kind of crap. And yet I click. Celebrities sharing this kind of intimate numbers with the outside world remains a thing. Or something.

So I click. Will he do a Jeroen Pauw? He is a bit older, right, and I think Gerard enjoys it quite a bit. Maybe a bit more. My eyes get stuck on a number that makes me wonder if there are two zeros too many at the end. One zero too many then? No? YEAH RIGHT. 4500 bed partners?! That guy can still walk, man. Maybe even more impressive: if you’re really such a player, how do you remember this number? Does the man have a tally list next to his bed? Respect.

The best man is 58 years old. Let’s say Geer has been sexually active since he was sixteen, then you’re averaging about two bed partners per week. If he has been monogamous during his ten-year relationship with Wino (his current manager), the average would even be three new lovers per week. Goodness. We understand where those high notes come from, Geer. You did have the strength for that again.